Your Second Blade
by lil'chrome-chan
Summary: His job has been going well especially with his skillful secretary, his old friend and partner Hayami Rinka, by his side. But what if he has always taken her loyalty for granted? A supposedly casual conversation revealed an unspoken past, and the two are forced to confront a problem that had remained dormant for nearly ten years. (ChibaHaya all the way)
1. Chapter 1: Perfection

**Hello! It's been a while since the last time I posted a fanfic, huh? Am I missed? *wink wonk* Guess not**

 **Anyway, I think I might get killed for posting another new story after so many fanfics being abandoned but I just have to write something for this ship. I shipped ChibaHaya back in March and now I'm back again to the ship because I just learned that our Sniper Duo are starting a business together. Holy shit I gotta write something for this, I thought. And after an encouragement by a fellow ChibaHaya shipper (he wrote an Indonesian ChibaHaya fanfic titled Mr & Mrs Sniper Love Story GO CHECK IT OUT IF YOU HAVEN'T), I finally made the decision to write this piece. I think it's gonna be about 5 chapters long but let's just see. Usually I always drag things and then abandon it in the end. Slap me please.**

 **Anyway, have a good read!**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANSATSU KYOUSHITSU**

* * *

Humans—despite being globally proclaimed the most advanced beings on Earth, are far from perfect. In fact, they are so full of imperfections and weaknesses that stray dogs might as well be better beings, life perfection-wise.

In the past, Koro-sensei had onced told all the E Class students that they must wield two blades. The first blade is his/her own natural skill and ability that only required a little tweak left and right to bloom to perfection. However, as perfect as your skill could be, it still has weaknesses—holes that became apparent the more perfect the first blade is. That is the reason why one must have a second blade; to make up for the first blade's weaknesses, burying the holes.

Just like soulmates, magnet, or even simply a water bottle and its cap, first and second blades complement each other and step closer to perfection.

.

.

"Yes."

.

A deep, manly voice rang in the dead quiet office. Outside was dark and undeniably cold during mid-autumn that one might simply think it could snow anytime. At this time of the night, outdoor activities ceased as more and more stores closed to finally take their rest after running their business all day.

.

"Yes, definitely."

.

A long-haired woman stepped closer to the window and peeked through the blinders only to find cars occasionally passing by. It was already really dark, almost the time for the last train. She checked her watch and learned that it was nearly midnight. Not that she minded, really. She could just take a taxi home if it was really the last thing she must do.

.

"Thank you very much, Kawasaki-san!"

.

At that cheerful tone, Hayami Rinka snapped her fingers away from the blinders and turned to face her old friend, her current boss and employer, Chiba Ryuunosuke. As she trotted to approach the dark-haired man, her low ponytail swayed gracefully with every step.

"How was it?" she asked, albeit knowing roughly what the news would be.

"Kawasaki-san is extremely satisfied with our work! We did it, Hayami!" Chiba exclaimed excitedly as he eagerly got up from his leather seat and finally stretched his all-day tensed body.

Hayami's lips formed into a relieved smile. As much as she didn't show it, she was as nervous as Chiba all day. It was their first finished project and they managed to pull it off in the end. Staying late in the office nearly every day was worth it.

"Hayami," Chiba called and Hayami looked up at the much taller man. He was holding his fist in the air, his lower arm diagonal.

Chuckling, Hayami did the same as they bumped their lower arms like the old days—their kind of fistbump.

"Hayami, let's go to a French restaurant or something to celebrate this. My treat." His bangs hid his eyes well, but his tone couldn't betray his feelings. Hayami could tell that he was really excited.

—too excited to remember that no French restaurant was open late at this hour.

"Let's just go to the usual bar. Just some alcohol would be enough."

"Are you sure though? We could go somewhere more… I don't know, different?"

"Which aren't open at 1 a.m. Alright, how about we go somewhere _different_ this weekend instead?"

"Right. Good idea."

"It's decided, then." Hayami smiled.

Chiba knew that during high school and university, Hayami had developed communication skills in order to chase her dream of being a journalist. During their first reunion after graduating middle school, he was shocked to see how different she approached people. But it was only the beginning. The more time he spent without her, the more surprised he was when he saw her again. It was almost like she became a different person.

Although, she was still unusually expressionless and talk less when there was only the two of them, especially during high school. Come to think of it, his memories of his first year of high school was quite blurry. But he was sure that she was a bit cold to him during those years. He wondered if it was her way of being considerate of his lack of communication skills or if she simply found no topic to talk with him. They started hanging out constantly again when their universities happened to be located close to each others'.

In the end, most of their conversations had always been about work anyway. It had been that way even back in middle school.

"So… how's Nagisa's project going?"

See? He couldn't start a conversation without relating it to work.

"He seems to love the living room. Ah, but he said he wants to change the baby room to be yellow in the end. Because, you know, Koro-sensei."

"Nagisa's always been all about him, huh. He never changed." Chiba chuckled.

"Poor Kayano. She almost had her baby room full of Koro-sensei's expressions but in the end they settled with only the color." Hayami chuckled quietly, holding her hand in front of her mouth in a feminine gesture that made Chiba smile.

The dark-haired man looked at the sky, at the stars and at the much smaller moon. "A lot had happened, huh."

"Yeah."

"All thanks to Koro-sensei, we're able to stand where we are now."

"You're right."

"I wonder if he's watching over us even now."

Hayami laughed softly. There was a slight, slight sadness in her voice. "I can picture that. He's a busybody, after all. I'm sure that even now, he's still occupied with writing another thick-ass manual book for us, saying that we'll absolutely need it."

"And then we'll refuse to bring it because it's just freaking heavy but in the end we'll end up really needing it."

"We'll end up in a trouble and sensei will come to help us."

Chiba sighed. "Good old days."

"You're right." Hayami nodded.

"I wonder how everyone's doing."

Hayami closed her eyes. "I'm sure they're doing fine. And we'll do our best so that we can boast about our life in the next class reunion." And she showed a slightly smug grin.

"You've got that right." Chiba laughed heartily, partly because it's simply funny to hear Hayami talk about _boasting_ because for the love of Koro-sensei, he simply couldn't picture her showing off about anything at all.

The walk was supposed to take about fifteen minutes.

"Oh, we're here."

Distance always felt so short whenever they were talking.

They had arrived to a traditional drink bar. It was a small shop; old and narrow. There were no tables, only the bar and a few bar chairs. And even so, the isle was still to narrow for people to pass leisurely. Lucky for them, nobody was there, which meant they didn't need to squeeze between people.

Before sitting down, Hayami took off her suit and scarf then hung them on the wooden clothes stand, leaving only her white blouse underneath. Meanwhile Chiba tried to not focus on how her bodyline became more obvious now without the suit.

Coming out from the back kitchen, the Master of the shop noticed the two young adults. His skin was wrinkled and full of age spots but his eyes were still shining like a child. He nonchalantly showed the couple a toothy grin one could hardly find at this time of the night.

"Oh, oh, it's the Chiba couple."

"Master, the last time I checked, my last name is still Hayami."

Chiba snorted at her smart retort.

"I can't believe you two are not married yet!" Master threw his arms in the air in childish rage. "What exactly are you two procrastinators waiting for?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows and sticking his lower lip into a pout.

Chiba and Hayami exchanged looks for a few seconds before Hayami took the liberty to answer the old man.

"I'm not sure, maybe we haven't been thinking because we're too hungry. Can we have two glasses of beer and the usual menu?" Hayami finished with a victorious grin. She was standing with a hand on her hip, her head tilted slightly.

Chiba almost couldn't believe it was the same Hayami he knew from middle school. How far had her communication skills developed? It was almost as if she was upgrading steadily like Ritsu. And who could beat Ritsu when it comes to upgrades?

"Blah! How could this old man ever beat the sneaky lady in a conversation?" Master threw his arms into the air for the second time before preparing the order.

"Thank you very much." Hayami smiled and bowed.

"He's not praising you, that's for sure."

"This world is all about what you see, Chiba. Remember that."

"You're lecturing me now?"

"It's a friendly advice." Hayami twirled her index finger in the air. "Isn't it a secretary's job to provide advices?" she asked in rethorically before she chose a seat.

Chiba wordlessly went to sit beside her. Now he missed the old Hayami who didn't talk much. She used to be so obedient and nice and… not tricky.

"Where can I find the old nice Hayami Rinka?" Chiba asked lifelessly.

"She's here, nice as always. Just more open and interactive and outspoken and—"

"Alright, alright, I get it. Enough." Chiba massaged his temple and groaned playfully.

To be honest, it's always nice to talk to her, no matter what her personality is. Unlike other people, Hayami never pressed him for conversations. More often than not, she'd wait patiently until he started a conversation and made sure she didn't pry too deep. What she said was true. She's still the same Hayami who was his shooting partner back in middle school, just more open and interactive and outspoken. It was all the result of her effort in pursuing her dream to be a journalist.

But in the end, he took that dream from her.

.

" _You just focus on sharpening your first blade. You've always been good at observing the world from behind your bangs anyway. I'll be your second blade."_

 _._

Hayami once said that.

That time, he thought it was a golden opportunity. Because, well, the best partner he could ever ask for offered to be his second blade. He couldn't imagine anyone else as his partner especially in building his own company. Hayami had offered her full support in teaching him all he needed to know about starting a business and how to have basic conversations with clients. To be frank, he used to think it would never succeed. Many times he thought about giving up and cutting his bangs so that he could apply to a proper company instead. But in those moments Hayami would tell him this without fail.

.

" _Yes, you can. I'll cover all the parts you feel unsure about, so just focus on going forward. I'll bury all the holes you leave behind in your trails so never stop or look back. Focus."_

.

She sounded so cool that he might just fall for her if he was a girl. She sounded almost as charismatic as Kataoka.

"Here's your beer and the usual." Master finally handed out their order.

"Thank you very much for the food." Hayami clapped her hands together and smiled. In response to that, Master twisted his lips in annoyance.

"The two of you really should think about your future already. Work isn't all there is in this world. You need family to support you and that's when your life is really complete." Master started as he leaned into the counter, eyeing the two young adults.

Chiba was about to shoved a plateful of tempura into his mouth when the Master told them that. Not knowing what to answer, he simply looked at the woman beside him.

Seemingly calm, Hayami took a bite out of her lotus root tempura before saying, "Are we going on with this again?"

Not feeling like it was the right time to eat, Chiba chose to savour his beer first.

"We won't stop until I get a proper answer. Even blind people can see you guys are crazy in love with each other!" Master shouted.

In unison, Chiba and Hayami choked.

A few seconds after that was filled with violent coughs from the two young adults.

"Alright, that's enough, old man." Hayami furiously got up from her seat. Feeling her rage, Chiba got up and tried to calm her down.

"Calm down, Hayami."

"I. Am. Calm." Hayami turned her green eyes, that looked ready to kill, at her old friend's direction.

Chiba jumped and sweated. "Right! You totally are!" he squeaked.

Taking this timing, Master asked, "Are you sure you two have never dated before?"

Chiba was about to deny if not because he saw the slight reaction originating from his old friend. She was hesitating. But why? For as long as he could remember, they never dated. Because who would ever forget ever dating anyone?

"…Hayami?"

"I'm going home."

"…huh?"

Before Chiba could ask it was a joke, Hayami hurriedly grabbed her suit and scarf before storming out of the shop. Confused, Chiba turned to face the Master, who responded to him with an equally confused face.

"What did I say wrong?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Tsk," Chiba clicked his tongue before storming out to chase his old friend. He could see her face just now but she definitely looked like she was in pain. And more than anything, he wanted to know what caused her to react like that.

.

.

.

Hayami ran and held the fabric close to her pounding chest.

It hurt, just like back then.

In the end, she was just running away from the whole ordeal. Chiba had told her how much in debt he was with her for helping him all this time. But no, it was all simply backed up by her own selfish reasons. Nearly ten years had passed since what happened back then, but she still couldn't let it go.

She had changed; even Chiba admitted that.

Along with her changes, she was supposed to forget about that too. What was so hard?

.

" _It's not only you who can see through my lies, you know. I can see yours too. So don't lie to me, Hayami."_

 _._

Hayami rushed into her apartment room and slammed the door close before locking it. She felt weak. She fell on her knees and pressed her fists on her ears as tears started flowing out, just like back then.

Hayami Rinka was not a crybaby—it was a fact.

Only a few things could prompt her into crying; and it was when she fail people's expectation. She would cry quietly in her room and curse herself for not doing better. And second, it was Chiba Ryuunosuke.

"Hayami?"

There was a knock on the door. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Are you… crying?"

Crap, he heard.

She ignored him. She was in no mood to talk. Furthermore, it would only sound stupid if she talked in her current state. It was a wiser decision to let her crying subside.

.

.

.

Chiba stood behind the door where he knew Hayami was crying on the other side. What he felt was confusion and also pain. It was painful to hear her cry and he could've sworn it was his first time seeing—listening to his friend in such sorry state and he didn't even know why.

"Is it… my fault?" he decided to ask. He wanted to make sure.

.

" _I don't want to see you now. Please go home. Please."_

 _._

Hayami's crying voice rang in his mind but he couldn't remember when he heard those words. He could remember something vaguely. A school backyard. A door.

.

" _Even if you no longer feel the same way, I want you to know that I'll always be here. I'll always be here to support you. That's why, keep chasing your dream and please be happy. Because I love you."_

 _._

It was an image of a smiling Hayami in her teens. She was trembling slightly and her lips quivered. The image was so nostalgic yet unfamiliar. Why couldn't he remember anything before now?

.

" _You might think you're expressionless and unreadable. But look, you're not. I can tell you're lying as easily as flipping a card."_

 _._

Chiba groaned as his head began to piece together the jumbled up memories.

He didn't know why these memories come in this timing, but he was sure it would tell him why his partner was acting weird just now. As long as he could find out what really happened, he didn't mind accepting the unusually bitter memories.

.

.

.

And Chiba finally knew what caused so much pain to his most precious partner.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 **I might continue this depending on the reader's interest. I'm fueled by my reader's motivation (and reviews) so yeahh. You'll understand that one would not write unless they feel it's meaningful to do so.  
**

 **See you next time!**


	2. Chapter 2: Formation

**Soooo did you guys enjoy chapter 1? It's a lot of drama in the end but I pretty much enjoyed writing it. I'm a drama queen, that's why. But I don't really like posting dramatic scenes because I think people tend to get creeped out by it? Well, if it's happening to my OTP I'll gladly savour everything, though.**

 **Thank you very much for the favorites, follows and reviews (especially reviews awyiss)! I like your enthusiasm!**

 **Oh, and just to say, this fanfiction is inspired by a doujinshi by Aya on Pixiv (the ChibaHaya Goddess, yep that's her) which is not free. We were only given a few pages for preview. So I got curious and created the whole story on my own using her hints.**

 **And one more! I drew a cover for this story, just in case you haven't noticed! Not really proud of the result so maybe I'll draw another one if I have time.**

 **Happy reading!**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANSATSU KYOUSHITSU**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Formation**

Four months after Koro-sensei's assassination, Hayami finally settled in her new high school. It was a public high school she chose because it was relatively credited and was not too far from her house; only two train stops away. No one from the old E class chose the same high school as her, which meant that she had the chance to completely start anew. Albeit the E Class having a group chat that was almost always active every single day until she began questioning if they even had a life, she could finally move on from the word "assassination".

Even now, whenever she heard that word, it would trigger something inside her. Even now, whenever she saw guns or rifles, her fingers would itch to hold the trigger and let loose. But it was all in the past. The beginning was hard. For both her and her shooting partner, Chiba Ryuunosuke, who had hold guns longer than any other E class students, the lingering loneliness and emptiness the guns left them with was fairly severe.

Maybe that was why.

"Hayami, are you free this afternoon?"

It was a few weeks after they started high school. Chiba has sent her that message when she was at school.

"Yeah, why?" she responded.

"There's a new shooting arena near the station. Wanna give it a _shot_?"

It didn't take her long to type a reply.

"Roger that."

She smiled.

.

.

At first, it was a shooting date.

It wasn't their first. Even back in middle school, they had gone to a few dates just to hang out and discuss about assassination plans that only the two of them understood. Sometimes they would go on dates to the shooting arena using "training" as an excuse. Of course, it was partly to sharpen their skills, but another part of it was to have fun too.

Even back then, Hayami rarely agreed to go out with her female friends. Most of the time, she wouldn't know what to talk about. It felt awkward and unpleasant when her friends tried to start a conversation but she couldn't continue it. On top of it, she felt guilty.

But with Chiba, she didn't need to start or prolong a conversation. Most of the time, they could understand each other well after only a few exchanges. Most of the time they would talk about how their high school life were, and about their dreams. Hayami had known for a long time that Chiba aspired to be an architect. She could still remember the design he made for the Wakaba Park's nursery and how awestruck she was back then. On the other hand, Chiba also knew that she had been aiming to be a journalist in the future. To be able to reach her dream, she had been developing her communication skills.

And the other times, topics just naturally came by and they could have a rare long talk. And in some cases, even hanging out in silence with him while the two of them were occupied with their own activity was very relaxing in itself.

And they carried on their tradition in high school.

.

.

After a few shooting dates, it changed into a casual outing.

"I guess we should really move on from this."

Chiba told her one day.

"I think so too."

And she agreed.

But neither one of them was ready to abandon their tradition. None of them said anything about it, but they naturally just hang out whenever both of them had free time. Before she knew it, Hayami had always been waiting for a mutual free time to come just so that she could meet him and spend time, even in silence, just the two of them.

"Rinka~ Let's go hit the karaoke box today!" one of her female classmates, Nishino, invited her one afternoon.

But she already promised to grab some ice cream with Chiba.

"Sorry, today's kind of…"

Nishino grinned. "Oh, right. Your boyfriend again? It's totally cool. Have fun!"

"Wait, what? You really had one, Rinka-chan?"

Another one, Yanagi, added.

"Chiba's not my boyfriend."

One classmate became two. As the two energetic girls continued bombarding her with suggestive questions, Hayami backed away to avoid them. It had been two months since Chiba and her started going on dates frequently, which meant Hayami couldn't spare her free time for her new friends.

She had told them many times that Chiba wasn't her boyfriend, but none of them ever believed her.

"I'm sorry. I really have to go now."

Hayami checked her phone's clock.

"Send our regards to the lucky guy!" both of them shouted while giggling as Hayami rushed out of the classroom.

Hayami got on a train to the next station where she promised to meet her shooting partner. They had agreed to watch a new action movie by their favorite movie stars. They had been talking about the movie for months and Chiba was really excited when it was finally airing. It was in the middle of the night when he called her and woke her up from her sleep just to tell her about the news.

"It's 12:30 a.m."

"…What?! Ah, I really don't know. I'm sorry, Hayami!"

She yawned and told him.

"No big deal. So, this Thursday?"

"This Thursday."

"Usual place?"

"Right."

"Roger that."

Their conversation had always been technical and concise that sometimes people nearby thought they were talking about a secret mission instead of a date.

Most girls enjoyed having a nice long talk with their boyfriend, full of sweet words and sugarcoated pickup lines. But to Hayami, her short conversations and silence with Chiba was everything she ever needed in their friendship.

"Hayami!"

She heard his familiar deep voice. Even back in middle school, he had one of the deepest voices out of all the males in E class. She had grown to like his voice; the only male voice she had ever really thought about. Considering how she wasn't really close to males, Chiba was her only image of good guy besides Isogai.

"Chiba…" she called him.

"Did you wait long?" he asked, panting after running all the way.

"I just got here."

"Thank god." He sighed in relief as he wiped his sweat, slightly revealing his sharp reddish brown eyes underneath his bangs.

Grabbing the rare opportunity, Hayami stared at his eyes for as long as possible.

"Wh-what?" he asked, jerking away.

"Nothing."

"Lies!"

"Come on, the movie's starting as we speak."

Hayami gestured to the cinema.

"Ah, yeah." Chiba nodded and followed suit. "By the way, Hayami, I have vouchers for this ice cream shop near the cinema. My sister bought it, uh, so… you wanna go after the movie?" he asked a little sheepishly, showing her two ice cream vouchers.

She smiled.

"Sure."

.

.

.

The movie they watched was a combination of action and science fiction. Both of them had liked action to begin with, and science fiction constantly reminded them of their beloved teacher so why not.

The movie told a story about two hitmen, one man and one woman, Bill and Joan. The two of them never had a clearly defined relationship but they were certainly partners. Their mind had always been full of their work and obligations; responsibilities and expectations. Building a romantic relationship or starting a family never once crossed their minds.

One day, they received a mission. Bill made a mistake in identifying the target, leading to both him and Joan killing the wrong person; an innocent citizen who was also their close friend. It had haunted both of them to the point where they both quit their job. Bill focused fully on his second job as a university professor specialized in neuroscience while Joan travelled around the globe as a freelance photographer. While aiming to live a normal life, none of them actually believed they deserved happiness.

It was around three years after their big mistake that they were reunited in a night club where both of them were trying to seek relaxation. Facing each other again made their past mistake more apparent after years. At first, it was awkward, but in the end they spent the night drinking and talking about the past. They shared a friendly conversation until a drunk Bill accidentally confessed that he had been in love with Joan for a long time. This prompted the two of them to share a night making love, licking each other's wound. The two of them shared the same darkness and carried the same burden. They didn't need anyone else to understand them. They only needed each other.

Right when they were finally ready to move on from their dark past, a tragedy struck. They were assaulted by their past enemies and Joan was left with huge injuries that nearly took her life. Using everything he could, Bill saved Joan's life. But in the end, Joan conveniently lost a part of her memories, everything about Bill.

Not able to accept the painful truth, Bill practiced the technology he had developed to return Joan's memories but omitted the part about her killing their close friend. It was a chance for him. He could make Joan's life free of burden, even if he had to be the only one carrying it.

And the movie ended in a cliffhanger.

"In the end it was more of a love story than an action story," Chiba commented, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

Hayami nodded. "The trailer was a complete lie."

"Agreed."

"And how did Bill do the memories thing? I'm quite curious about that one."

"Is it even possible? I mean, scientifically?"

Hayami shrugged. "If only a neuroscientist or Koro-sensei were here to explain."

"I'd have to agree with that one." Chiba chuckled.

The two of them stopped their track when Chiba's phone produced a familiar voice. It wasn't a ringtone or anything like that, but a girl's voice. Chiba retrieved his phone from his jacket and Hayami tilted her head to see the screen. Both of them smiled at the girl in the screen.

"Long time no see, Chiba-kun, Hayami-san!"

"Ritsu…" the couple called.

"In the place of Koro-sensei, this **Autonomously Thinking Fixed Artillery** A.K.A. **Super Idol Ritsu** shall assist you in explaining how human brain works!" Ritsu cheered and winked, making a cute pose in Chiba's home screen and making it colorful. "Applause please!"

Hayami was about to clap her hands but she realized Chiba was holding a phone with one hand so it was impossible for him. To make up for it, she offered her palm to him. Getting her intention, Chiba clapped her palm and they repeated the motion for a few times.

"I have to admit, I've received a lot of applauses, but that was the cutest applause I've ever seen! Chiba-kun and Hayami-san, the two of you are still very close even now, aren't you?" Ritsu commented with a bright smile, her arms up in the air.

After that, Ritsu gave them a long lecture about the mechanism of human brains. Long story short, human memories are stored in the brain in the form of electric current. With the right tweak left and right, Ritsu admitted that even she could do something similar to what Bill did. But of course, with sufficient equipment as well. One couldn't just electrify the brain and expect things to just go their way.

"I hope it helps!" Ritsu beamed.

"It's a big help. Thank you, Ritsu." Hayami smiled. "By the way, why are you in Chiba's phone?" she asked, curious if it was just a coincidence.

"Oh!" Ritsu's lips formed an 'O' and she pointed up an index finger. "That's because Chiba-kun asked for my help last night to help look up for the perfect date spot—"

"AAAAAAAAHH! RITSUUUUU!" Chiba shouted on the top of his lungs that people around them turned their attention to him.

Hayami blinked, both in shock and embarrassment of being the center of unwanted attention. In reflex, she put a hand up to cover her face.

"Why are you yelling out of the blue?" she whispered to her partner, who looked like he was both furious and embarrassed.

She could see him turn off his phone and put it back into his pocket before breathlessly saying, "Nothing. Let's go to the ice cream parlor."

Sometimes Hayami still couldn't comprehend her partner's mind even after being together for so long.

.

.

.

After buying the ice cream, the two of them took a rest at the park. There was an empty bench by the fountain and they decided to take a seat there. Hayami expected to have a time of silence with Chiba because that's what they usually do when they take a break during their dates, especially after the 'big event' just now. She was sure Chiba was tired physically and mentally. It was perfect, because she didn't like talking much while eating.

"Hayami, what flavor did you order again?"

Chiba started a conversation.

Weird.

He usually never cared.

"Mint," Hayami answered. She turned to look at him and offered her ice cream. "Want a taste?" she asked. Maybe he asked because he wanted to try.

"I can?"

"Sure."

When Chiba took a lick out of her ice cream, Hayami cursed herself for ever offering him. For some reason, the sight made her heart race.

"Maybe I should've ordered mint," Chiba commented nonchalantly.

"I won't give it to you even you say that, you know?"

"I know! Do you really have to say it out loud?" Chiba hung his head low in obvious heartbreak.

"Hayami."

"Hm?"

"You've got some cream on your cheek."

"Oh, really—"

Hayami almost had a heart attack when Chiba's finger gently brushed her cheek, but that wasn't all. It happened in a flash that she couldn't even find the time to react. The next thing she knew was Chiba's lips brushing on hers, both of them cold and sweet. She could still taste the chocolate ice cream he ate just now. She could've sworn her heart stopped for a moment there only to beat like crazy the next second.

Time seemed to stop at that very moment.

Hayami could still feel her heart pounding like mad and she could've sworn her face was beet red. On top of everything, her heard was spinning.

After a few seconds, Chiba broke the kiss.

"Uh…" Hayami mumbled, not knowing what to say.

Chiba looked away, his face red like hers.

"If it's you, Hayami, I know you'd understand." He was looking down timidly and Hayami couldn't help but think he was cute. "Since I'm not good with expressing myself with words…" he trailed off.

Hayami closed her eyes and smiled.

"…Hayami, I… uh… you see, I…"

"It's alright."

Chiba snapped his head up at the smiling girl beside him, surprised. His face was still beet red and his heart was still pounding like never before.

"You don't have to say it. "

Chiba's expression lit up in expectation.

"Then—"

"I feel the same way."

Hayami could feel the happiness radiating from her partner. He was facing her, smiling so bright that it melted her heart, rubbing off on her. She could've never thought that only a few words she said could make anyone this happy. Ever since she was young, she had always been bent on with meeting people's expectations that she unknowingly let them take her unconditional willingness for granted. Even so, she couldn't go against them. Because deep down, she believed she's partly at fault.

But Chiba was the same as her. He was scared of betraying people's expectations. He understood her better than anyone without having to say it out loud. He's hardworking and caring, always putting people's best interests before his own. Hayami wouldn't want any other person to be her partner, even in romance.

.

.

Four months after Koro-sensei's death; Chiba Ryuunosuke and Hayami Rinka finally started a relationship, just like what their beloved teacher and majority of E class had wished for. The two quiet students from E class had always curiously attracted their classmates' attention especially when it came to their relationship. People around them always believed that they were a natural couple and they would probably spend the majority of their relationship in smooth sailing if they ever decided to start one.

…But perhaps, life was never that easy.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 **This fanfic isn't proofread so pardon the typos and grammatical errors. I'm really too lazy to reread everything because I'm so focused on writing more. Hopefully I'll post chapter 3 soon. SHOW ME YOUR ENTHUSIASM, READERS AND FELLOW CHIBAHAYA SHIPPERS!  
**


	3. Chapter 3: Transformation (Part 1)

**The update is kinda later than I expected. I received news about my classmate (she's 19) getting married next Monday and I was so freaking shocked beyond words. And then many surprises followed so I didn't really have time to write. I have dance practice until Friday and my cousin's getting married on Saturday. Then my friend's marriage on Monday. I'll be pretty busy until next week so I don't think the next chapter will be up very soon. Too bad :/**

 **This is the longest chapter so far so I hope you don't sleep along the way while reading it. Oh and I finished writing and posted this right before sleeping (I'm goddamned sleepy) so pardon the mistakes both in the story and the author note.**

 **Oh, and if you'd like some ChibaHaya fanarts, visit my instagram page ( yukifrill) because I draw plenty of fanarts.**

 **Oh well, I guess that's it.**

 **Enjoy your read!**

 **[WARNING! SUGGESTIVE SCENE AT THE END! READ AT YOUR OWN RISKS]**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANSATSU KYOUSHITSU**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Transformation (Part 1)  
**

Hayami Rinka first noticed Chiba Ryuunosuke during her third year of middle school, where both of them met as the lowest students in the caste of Kunugigaoka Academy. The dead class was slowly changed by the monster claiming to have destroyed the 70% of the moon, Koro-sensei. Before he came, Hayami was solely focused on studying to fix her grades so that she could stop disappointing her mother.

Hayami did not have a father for as long as she could remember. She didn't know what happened to him or who he was in the first place because her mother refused to get on the topic, claiming it to be too painful. Hayami was indeed a curious child but was never a persistent child, so she let it slide. It wasn't like the absence of a father was ever a big thing anyway.

However, like any other children with single parent, Hayami had to learn to be independent in young age. She never tried to rely on other people and insisted she could do things on her own. When people rely on her, she would happily show effort in trying to meet their expectation. Maybe because of that, her classmates used her kindness and made her do their work. Maybe because of that, she ended up in E class.

But ending up in E class could have been the best thing that ever happened in her life. Because she got to meet the best teacher and the best comrades she could ever ask for. For the first time in forever, she found people worthy of her trust.

One of them was Chiba Ryuunosuke.

He never stood out in class because of his long bangs and his naturally quiet personality. Of course, people realized that he existed in the class because who else had bangs that long. But that was all there was to it. Nobody really knew him on the inside.

Hayami first really noticed him during their first shooting practice. The lesson was one of her favorites because she got to move freely instead of sitting in the class all day. Of course, it was always fun with Koro-sensei around, but she's actually an athletic person. Moving around made her feel alive.

Among the girls, she always got the highest score in shooting and she was always proud of that.

But…

 _Hayami Rinka_ — _28 targets_

 _Chiba Ryuunosuke_ — _30 targets_

While other students focused more on their knifework, nobody really paid attention to their shooting scores. But Hayami noticed. Other students only took down like a half of what she and Chiba did. It could only mean that Chiba was really skillful.

And during the next shooting practice, her opportunity came.

"Class! Split up in boy-girl groups and practice on your own. Do not, I repeat, _do not_ let your partner slack off because I have my eyes on you!" Karasuma-sensei shouted in the most intimidating voice and the class quickly scattered to find their partner.

Hayami quickly approached Chiba and asked politely, "Can I partner up with you?"

He looked visibly surprised. Maybe because it was his first time talking to a girl in general. He rubbed the back of his neck and bowed slightly. "If you don't mind," he said, smiling sheepishly.

"Of course, Chiba-kun."

"Oh… right. Hayami-san…"

"Just Hayami is fine."

"If that's so, you can just call me Chiba too."

"Got it." Hayami nodded firmly before picking up her rifle. "Let's go before Karasuma-sensei catches us slacking off."

"Good idea."

Back then she never actually expected that they would end up in a romantic relationship.

.

.

.

A month after Chiba's confession. There wasn't any big changes to their relationship because of their passive personalities and natures in the first place. Their conversations were still concise and short. However, Hayami didn't mind. She never did. She's comfortable with their relationship anyway. She didn't mind moving slowly step by step, letting Chiba lead the way in the pace he's most comfortable with. Her mother had once told her that relationship is all about supporting each other, and she wanted to fulfill at least that role properly.

"Hello?"

"Ah, Hayami? Are you free this afternoon?"

"Yes, I am but…" Hayami bit her lip. "You call me just for that?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm not supposed to?"

His voice sounded sort of panicky that Hayami had to hold the urge to giggle.

"It's fine. So, afternoon?"

"Right. I'll wait for you at the usual place after school."

"Roger that."

"And, Hayami? I… uh… _I love you_."

Hayami raised a brow and pressed her ear to her phone speaker because she felt like Chiba's voice suddenly faded in the end. "What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing! See you later!" he squeaked.

After the call ended, Hayami stayed at her spot, still looking intently at her phone screen. Her heart pounded slightly. It was only something as simple as calling, but she felt like flying. Taking a deep breath, she tried to stabilize her heartbeat. She did it, but she couldn't erase the grin forming in her face as she hugged her phone close to her chest.

"…Rinka?"

Hayami jumped involuntarily.

Behind her was her classmate, Nishino Yui, who sat in fron of her in class. She and the other—Yanagi Saeko—had always teased her about Chiba; about his mysteriousness, their status, or simply about his hair. If Hayami had to compare the two of them with E class students, Nishino would be Nakamura, and Yanagi would be Kurahashi.

"Uh—Nishino-san…" she mumbled awkwardly.

Yui widened her eyes and smiled knowingly at Rinka when she saw the orange-haired girl's expression. "O-ho~ somebody's so lovestruck she didn't realize her friend's here, it seems." She smirked, rubbing her chin with her fingers like a detective.

" _Kyaaaa_ —Rinka-chan, congratulations!" Yanagi squealed. Hayami didn't realize she was there.

"Why are you two here anyway?"

"Oh, right! We're here to tell you that Shinomiya-senpai's looking for you!"

"He said there's something to discuss about your club?"

"Yeah~ Something about the upcoming school festival too, if I remember right."

"Oh, right. I almost forgot that we're required to visit the clubroom to during lunchtime to discuss about what we would be performing for the school festival."

A month after school started, Hayami was personally invited to the Airsoft club in her school by the club president himself. Back then, she rejected the offer to join because she wanted to spare as much time as possible so that she could hang out with Chiba. And since they used to go to shooting dates in the first place, Hayami figured that training with Chiba would be worth her time more than joining a club. However, after Chiba insisted that they should move on from shooting because of obvious reasons, she decided maybe joining a club wouldn't be so bad. Unlike Chiba who attended private school of arts and had tight schedule and tough homeworks, Hayami's schedule was mostly empty. She wanted to feel productive again and even thought of joining the dancing club to get back on her old hobby.

She didn't know what she was thinking when Shinomiya-senpai brought her to the clubroom and let her try shooting. She didn't know what possessed her when she let loose in the field, impressing all the members, and at the same time breaking her promise with Chiba about moving on from shooting. Her fingers longed for the sensation; the weight of guns and the feeling of pulling trigger.

Because it reminded her of many memories she wasn't ready to forget—of the yellow monster that was her best teacher in life; and of the black-haired boy who was her most trusted shooting partner back in the day.

Yet she couldn't tell Chiba about it. And he was pretty busy in the first place so she couldn't find the right timing.

"Because your mind is full of your boyfriend." Nishino smirked.

Yanagi squealed. " _Kyaaaa_ —Rinka-chan, you're so cuuuute!"

"That's not it! I just forgot."

"Oh? How very unusual. Rinka's not denying the boyfriend part."

"Oh em gee, don't tell me—"

"C'mon, 'fess up!"

Hayami left her friends without giving any clarification. She didn't feel the need to tell the world about her relationship status.

.

.

.

That afternoon, they went for a casual date with no destination whatsoever. It was just their way. They enjoyed the silence and each other's presence. When they made it to the park where their relationship began in the first place, Chiba spoke up,

"Should we tell the class about our status?"

Hayami took a moment to ponder about Chiba's question. It wasn't like she didn't trust them or anything like that, but there was this indescribable insecurity enveloping her. After a moment of hesitation, she asked, "Do we really need to?"

Chiba shrugged. "Well, if you don't want to, I won't force you."

"I don't know… I'm not really comfortable about the idea." Hayami shook her head lightly.

"Then we can keep it to ourselves until it becomes too obvious to hide. Deal?"

Hayami nodded. "Deal," she agreed.

They spent the whole afternoon visiting art museums and sometimes dropping by music shops. Chiba would hold Hayami's hand whenever he thought nobody was looking. He would tell her how much he longed to build beautiful houses because he believed happiness could be built along the way. He would tell her about his dreams and passion in such joy that she couldn't help but smile and listen intently to his every word, imagining the time when she could be the one by his side, supporting him to reach his dreams.

Future was still far away, but she wanted to believe that she would always be by his side until the end of their lives. It might only be some wistful thinking on her part, but Hayami had never wanted to believe in anything as much as this time.

It was because he was with her that she could improve until this day. It might be selfish of her, but she wanted to repay him so bad. And when he expressed his feelings to her that day, she couldn't help but think that repaying debt had never been so blissful.

.

.

.

It was a few days before Chiba's birthday.

"My parents and sisters won't be home this weekend. Want to hang out at my house?"

"Sure."

"You agreed so fast."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I mean, you're going to your b-boyfriend's house. And his family's not present." Chiba was still not comfortable with calling himself Hayami's boyfriend. And that side of his successfully made her smile albeit only a little.

"Silly. I trust you."

"…Hayami."

"And if it's you, I don't mind, really."

Chiba's heart skipped a beat and he blinked multiple times even knowing she couldn't see it. "Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" he asked nervously.

Hayami shrugged. "Just expressing the extent of my trust?"

That weekend was exactly Chiba's birthday and Hayami completely knew it. She actually gave him some cookies on his birthday back in class E because she happened to remember, and they were kind of close back then anyway. This time, however, they're not just partners. They're lovers. And Hayami didn't want to just give him cheap cookies anymore.

Hayami came with a bunch of food ingredients and an actual present—a knitted hat, just because she loved seeing him wearing them.

"You're cooking?"

"Can't have you eat junk food on your birthday without your family around, can we?"

"Hayamiiii—"

She put a hand on his face when he tried to jump on her.

"Not now. We have some cooking to do."

"Wait, me too?"

"Do you expect me to do everything on my own?"

Chiba grinned knowingly before going to get a couple of aprons for them both. He couldn't stop staring when Hayami put the apron on and started rolling her sleeves upward. He loved eating her cooking, but cooking with her sounded as fun.

"Let me help you with that," he offered when he saw her pulling out a radish.

"I was waiting for you to say that." She showed a rare mischievious grin.

Chiba chuckled. "Who the hell are you? Hayami wouldn't say that!"

"It means you don't know your girlfriend well enough, mister oblivious. I'm actually pretty tricky."

"Oh, yes, you are."

And Chiba hugged his girlfriend from behind; planting a kiss on the top of her head.

They spent half of the day cooking and talking about mostly about future plans, universities and dreams. They were only a high school freshmen but they thought a lot about those topics. Yet oddly, both of them seemed to have the tendency to do so.

"My dream work is anything related with building houses."

"My dream work is anything related to current events."

"My favorite food is hard-boiled eggs."

"My favorite food is Beef Stroganoff."

"I used to be a part of light music club."

"I used to be a part of ski club."

"I have three sisters."

"I don't have a dad."

"My family expect a lot from me as the only son."

"My mom expect a lot from me as her only child."

"My sisters couldn't be bothered with my problems. They never want to listen."

"My mom has a lot in her mind that she doesn't have time for me."

"I'm actually scared about our relationship."

"I'm worried that I might demand more of you."

"But I want to believe in us."

"But I want to be by your side no matter what."

"I'm glad I was transferred to E class and met you."

Hayami smiled.

"Me too."

Chiba smiled back before gently pulling her into an embrace. Hayami closed her eyes and found comfort in his gentle touch. It was as though they were licking each other's wounds, finding salvation in each other. Hayami wished time could just freeze and she could stay with Chiba like this without a single worry of the future or the present. Hayami wished their family problems and personal insecurities never existed.

Hayami wished they could just stay themselves—Chiba and Hayami; Ryuunosuke and Rinka—just themselves without any interference from the outside.

"Hayami…" he breathed out after a while.

She leaned in closer to his embrace, absorbing his presence. "Hmm?" she hummed.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, of course. Why would I date you if I don't?"

She could feel him chuckle lowly. "Then, can you say it for me?" _I need reassurance._ A part that he didn't say out loud.

"Sure." She breathed in. "I love you, Chiba."

She could feel him flinched before tightening his embrace yet not to the extent where it would suffocate her. He buried his face in her shoulder. "Again," he said, voice slightly shaky.

Hayami's lips formed a thin smile. He was such a child.

"I love you, Chiba."

For some reason, she could feel her shoulder just a bit wet.

"Again," he said. Now his voice sounded as if he was in pain.

"I love you, Chiba." Her arms found themselves to his back as she held him closer in hope that she could somehow ease his newfound anxiety.

"I love you too, Hayami."

Hayami could swear to God that she didn't remember what happened right after that. Her memories were blurry. Probably because of the heat caused by the situation itself. Her heart was beating fast and she couldn't think straight. It was probably when Chiba used the attack he—or actually the whole class—learned from Bitch-sensei. Hayami could only remember parts of the whole event when Chiba forced his way into her and automatically made her whole body numb.

"I love you, Hayami."

He repeated again and again in-between kisses. She honestly didn't know what prompted his aggressive action. It was almost like he wasn't the Chiba she knew. And she's not sure if she liked it.

But one thing for sure, she couldn't fight him.

The next thing she knew, they were already in his room, on his bed that was unusually neat for a guy's. Hayami didn't have time to actually consider anything in the room when Chiba towered over her and began to attack her neck relentlessly, leaving marks that she would have trouble covering the next day.

"Chiba—"

She finally found the power to choke out.

At that, Chiba stopped and looked at her. She could see his beautiful eyes peeking from behind the curtain that was his bangs. His eyes were longing for her and she couldn't find any malice. Furthermore, she could spot some traces that he had been crying, albeit only for a little.

"Hayami…" he murmured, sending electric shock all over her body. "Do you trust me?" he asked, almost as if he was pleading.

Hayami's head was in a mess after what happened and she was pretty sure whatever her decision would be when her head was in such condition wouldn't be logical at all. But when she saw his eyes and her heart beat faster, she knew she could never need logic in this kind of situation, now or even in the future.

Slowly, Hayami moved her head up and down.

In an instance, Chiba caught her lips in a heated kiss. She was getting used to his lips on hers and it actually felt comfortable. Without thinking, she circled her arms around his neck and brought him closer.

Her action seemed to trigger something in him, as he suddenly pulled away from the kiss and began sucking at her neck again. She ran her fingers through his soft hair and muffled a moan. Her whole body was in heat that she felt she could die any second. Everything happening was weird but she couldn't say she hated it.

Chiba unbuttoned her blouse. When Hayami flinched in shock, Chiba paused to memorize the shape of her chest. Back when Koro-sensei was suspected as an underwear thief, Chiba had accidentally saw Hayami's bust size—C cup.

And for the love of God, C cup was big. Of couse, he had seen them close up when they were in the mission at the Southern Island when she wore swimsuit. And yet again, it was a whole different matter.

Now, he was the only one who saw them.

He looked into Hayami's eyes. She didn't shy away, despite her flushed face and her slightly trembling body. He knew he actually scared her, but he loved how she always ensured him that she was strong and he didn't need to worry.

Hayami took a deep breath before pulling Chiba to her chest, much to his surprise.

"Ha-Hayami?!" he squeaked like a girl.

She caressed his hair so lovingly that he could cry. He almost never got this much love from anyone in the whole world.

His arms found their way to her back as he cradled her in his arms only to be reminded again how much smaller she was compared to him and how perfect she fit into his arms. He wanted badly to just keep her in his arms forever and never let go.

"Hayami…" he murmured in her ear, making her shudder. "Are you ready?" he asked.

After few seconds of silence, Chiba could feel a nod.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 **Well I kept the "scene" to an okay level because this fanfic is rated T. I skip all the things that might be rated as M too.**

 **Again, this fanfic is inspired by Aya's doujinshi so prepare yourself for more suggestive scenes in the future. Next time it might not be as sweet, though.**

 **What is actually happening? Why is Chiba suddenly going savage? And how on Earth did he forget he ever dated Hayami (and stolen her virginity on top of all)? Follow the story until the end if you want to find out *wink wonk***

 **See you next time! Stay tuned!**


	4. Chapter 4: Transformation (Part 2)

**I finally found time to continue this fanfic after I nailed my dance performance awyiss. It was a blast! Best day of my life after a while!**

 **Okay, so this chapter is going to really hurt a lot of ChibaHaya shippers out there so brace yourself, guys.**

 **And for the guest reviewer, I12Bfree, I'll answer your question here because I can't PM you. First, about where I learned the fact that Chiba and Hayami are starting business together. I learned it from the Graduation Album (it's not translated, but I can read Japanese so yeah). And thank you for loving this story! I feel really honored! As for your second question, the answer is no. I made up the movie and it doesn't exist. Too bad! Lastly, here you go! The newest chapter!**

 **Have a good read!**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANSATSU KYOUSHITSU**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Transformation (Part 2)**

It was a few months after Chiba and Hayami started dating—also a few months after Chiba's birthday.

The season was summer.

.

Hayami opened a text message in her phone.

Only a simple "Four o'clock" was written in the message from her supposedly boyfriend. Of course, they were always concise to begin with, but the way he wrote his message just didn't feel right. It was cold and void of feelings.

Hayami wondered how long had it been since Chiba last showed any feelings to her. It felt so long that it might as well didn't happen at all.

Hayami typed a reply.

"Sorry, today's a bit…"

Then erased it and changed it into,

"Roger that."

Her eyes were empty as she stared at her phone—at the cold message from her most beloved person. She wondered when it started.

When did Chiba start to change?

.

.

After their _activity_ at Chiba's house that day on his birthday, Chiba had sometimes invited Hayami to do it again when they could meet. Somewhere in Hayami told her that it was not right, and yet she couldn't find a strong reason to refuse. Probably because she could feel something inside Chiba that made him do what he did.

"Are you alright, Chiba?" she had asked a few times.

During those times, he would just smile at her and ask back, "About what?"

She knew he was lying to her but she couldn't ask why. The reason behind it seemed to be heavy enough to prompt him into such changes.

Two months before, Hayami caught Chiba crying when she visited his house. They were supposed to meet up that weekend but he never seemed to come so she called him. After he didn't pick up his phone for an hour, she decided to visit his house only to find the door unlocked. She could still remember how bad her heart raced back then when she thought something really bad might have happened to him.

She looked around the house and finally found him in his room.

He was sitting in the corner of the room, balling up himself in such a sorry state that she could just cry. Wordlessly, she rushed to hold him and told him everything's alright. She stroked his back and whispered comforting words into his ears just to ensure him that nothing would hurt him now that she was with him.

"Everything will be alright. I'm here with you. I'll always be."

At those words, he looked up at her, showing his beautiful yet pained reddish brown eyes she loved so much. She never asked him what bothered him, believing he would tell her eventually.

"Hayami, do you love me?"

Hayami's heart clenched at his tone. It was as though he was a child, longing to be loved. She closed her eyes and held him close. "Of course I do, silly. I love you more than anything in the world. I'll never let you go. I'll never leave you."

"Thank you…"

And she could hardly remember anything after that aside from Chiba kissing her and they did _it_ for the second time that day. And that was when she finally realized that Chiba's family was almost never home.

.

.

.

It was only a week after that incident when Chiba invited her to a date that almost gave her a heart attack. They were only walking aimlessly as she told him about her day at school and he listened with a content smile. Then he proceeded to talk about his dreams to build houses—something she never got tired listening to. However, it was not the first time she noticed that he never really talked about his school life or friends. She wanted so bad to ask him but in the end, kept it to herself because she was afraid to ruin the mood.

"Oh, we're here," Chiba said, cutting his own talk about his dreams.

Hayami didn't notice where they were before but when she finally absorbed her surrounding, she shuddered. The street was fairly quiet yet the buildings to her left and right were colorful and fancy. And where they stopped, was in front of a love hotel.

"Uh… Chiba?" she asked.

"Let's go."

He held her hand and led her inside a pink building, as though he couldn't sense her throbbing heart and feel her sweaty palm. Hayami could've sworn her brain couldn't digest what was happening when Chiba booked a room without even asking her anything and made all the reservations by himself.

Once they got into the room, Chiba threw all their belongings, locked the door and slammed Hayami into the wall with a hungry kiss. Too surprised to react, Hayami could only obey him and go with the flow.

" _Ah…_ "

She moaned softly when trailed kisses down her jaw and neck. Her fingers ran into his hair just to feel him. Her head was a mess and, it was too late to think about this but, her mother would die in shock if she ever found out Hayami was doing this. But deep down, she couldn't care less what other people think about the two of them. She wanted to just be Hayami Rinka when she was with Chiba, and not bound by any other social roles.

She wasn't a student, a daughter, or a friend, when she's with him. She's his lover and she would act the role.

"Hayami… Hayami… Hayami…"

He repeated her name again and again as he unbuttoned her blouse and skillfully discarded the piece of clothing before proceeding to unzip her skirt. They were both breathing heavily when Chiba kissed her again, inserting his tongue to invade the inside of her mouth and let his hand roam about along her bodyline, sending shivers down her spines. When Chiba pressed his leg in between hers, she yelped and accidentally bit his tongue while her arms held him tighter. He didn't mind, and instead broke the kiss to pick her up and carry her to the bed.

Chiba positioned Hayami in front of him as he sat on the bed and she stood on her knees, looking down at him. His hidden eyes looked into her emerald ones as he removed his own tops. After that, he smiled as he pulled her closer into a gentle kiss.

"Hayami, do you love me?" he asked. She had heart that question multiple times and yet it seemed to hold less meaning.

"Yes." And her answer seemed to hold less emotion.

At her answer, Chiba flipped their position. With Hayami now under him, he smile and said,

"Let's start."

.

.

.

After a few times doing it, Hayami felt more emotional distance building between her and Chiba, which was why she wanted nothing but to turn him down when he invited her through text just now. It was not the first time. Many times before, she just wished she could speak and and tell him upfront that she didn't want to do it anymore. But even without him telling her she knew that he was hiding something big and he needed her to be by his side.

She cursed her cowardice.

Chiba was cold. He hadn't been this cold for the longest time she had known him and she didn't know why. Every time he touched her and said he loved her, it sounded so empty and cold. When he said he needed her, it sounded more like she needed her physically than emotionally. It was as if it didn't matter who he slept with.

And it killed her.

Because she didn't want to think like that.

She wanted to help him—it was her way to repay her debt to him. It reminded her that her original purpose of dating him was to repay her debt anyway. She should probably apply that mindset and continue helping him with that in mind.

Maybe that was why she agreed to meet him in the end

.

.

Hayami walked to the meeting place, holding her bag tighter with every step. Her heart was divided into two conflicting factions. One wanted to just go home and run away from everything and one just forced her to keep walking and face things upfront. It was hard to take another step forward but she somehow managed to.

When somebody tapped her on the shoulder, she jumped and looked around.

"Hi, cutie~ you free? Wanna hang out with us?"

It was two random guys with dyed hair and piercings. She cringed and took a step backward.

"Uh… I'm waiting for someone."

"What? Is it your boyfriend?"

"Come on, you can ditch the guy, whoever he is. And hang out with us!"

Yeah, right. Maybe she should pretend to be forced to go with them and ditch her meeting with Chiba. Maybe then she would finally have a completely acceptable reason not to meet him. That's right, maybe she should…

"Hayami."

She jumped for the second time in a short period when she heard his voice. She turned around to see his tall figure towering over her and those bangs nobody else had.

"Chiba…" she murmured.

"Did you wait long?" he asked casually.

She shook her head. "I just got here."

He nodded. "Okay. Let's go, then."

Hayami nodded and bowed at the two guys who flirted with her before following Chiba.

On their walk, Hayami began telling him about her day. Although nothing particularly special happened that day, she only wanted to distract him, or maybe herself. She wanted to continue to be normal for as long as she could.

She wanted to stay with the Chiba she loved even for a little while longer.

"And then—"

"Hayami," he cut her off.

Hayami stopped her track and turned around to see him—his eyes that told her everything in silence. She inhaled deeply before saying,

"Alright. Let's go."

.

.

.

"Chiba… _ah_ …"

 _This love didn't have a beginning or an end._

Chiba kissed her whole body, leaving no parts untouched. Even so, she felt cold. Hayami closed her eyes and tried to think of something else; something happier. Probably something like their experience in E class back then.

"Hayami…" he breathed out her name.

Hayami didn't open her eyes; she didn't want to.

"Hayami?"

"…What?"

"I'm going in now."

"…Okay."

When she felt the pain, she instinctively pulled him into an embrace, digging her nails into his back. He didn't complain; he never did.

 _This love is floating in the space of nothingness with nowhere to go._

.

.

.

A few days after that, it was Hayami's birthday. Her birthday this year fell on Tuesday, but Chiba had an assignment he had to submit the next day so they couldn't go out to celebrate it.

Hayami cursed herself when she felt the relief washing over her.

She could guess that the date would end in another love hotel and she honestly didn't want that. It's weighing in her heart and mind that what she's doing was wrong. She couldn't tell anyone and she's not expressive to begin with.

But what if…

They'd been doing it too often and she ended up with a child? In her age? She's still immature and dependent. Any child born from her in such timing would only suffer.

That fear couldn't leave her but she couldn't refuse.

She wanted so badly to tell him.

"Tell me what's been bothering you. We can talk it out and come up with a solution."

Or maybe simply.

"I want to break up with you."

Or maybe something else. But she needed to say something—anything. Something's been stuck in her throat for so long and she had to let it out or she could go downright crazy. She had to say something to him.

But what?

What could she say to tell him that she knew he'd changed but she still wanted to help him?

Hayami let out a long sigh before pressing her palms on her face.

"When did everything become so hard to do?" she mumbled to herself.

She was in her room, facing the ceiling and recalling how stable her relationship with Chiba was in the past, when they were still in the E class with everyone and Koro-sensei. Life had been hard even back then, yet the class could make her forget about her personal problems for a while. Koro-sensei had saved many people. He had solved Nagisa's family problem; gave reassurance to Kanzaki and Kimura's personal insecurity; helped Ritsu to be a part of the class; made Kayano forget about her revenge. He had also made her and Chiba thought that they didn't need to carry burdens on their own anymore.

And that they weren't alone.

That they had the class to back them up whenever they needed.

But the class wasn't here now.

And she needed them.

Hayami stared at her phone and pondered for a while. Maybe… just maybe, she could talk about it with someone—maybe Nakamura or Yada. She was closest to them, after all.

But, could she tell them everything? Wouldn't they be disgusted at her? Telling her that she was stupid to let her virginity stolen so easily and with only something stupid waiting for her in return?

Hayami closed her eyes and let a tear fall before falling asleep.

.

.

.

A few months went by.

That day, Hayami went out to buy groceries, ordered by her mom.

Whether it was a coincidence, a curse, or fate, she met Chiba when she was walking home. Their home was not too far from each other's so it was actually not very surprising, yet meeting him outside when they didn't make a plan to meet was a bit odd and also awkward.

"Chiba…" she called, subconsciously.

He was wearing furry jacket because it was pretty cold outside during fall. It was so cold one could see their breath.

Chiba wasn't facing her as he let out a long breath.

He didn't seem to be in a good mood.

"We need to talk."

Hayami's heart nearly stopped when she heard his tone. Those four words always sounded so frightening especially when the speaker was your lover. It could only mean one thing: breakup. She had known him long enough to guess what was on his mind; what he was thinking. She didn't need to look behind his bangs to guess his mood.

A memory resurfaced. It was the time when Chiba had told her about his dreams of building houses and happiness. His flushed cheeks and warm smile never failed to create a smile on her face. His happiness was contagious. And she wanted him to always be happy.

Inhaling deeply, Hayami looked at her feet before shifting her attention to Chiba who was already looking at her direction.

"Actually, I—"

"Chiba."

Hayami cut him off.

Chiba looked at her.

Her lips formed a broken smile.

"Even if you no longer feel the same way…"

Chiba's heart nearly stopped when Hayami uttered those words. Her voice was slightly cracked despite her effort to hide it. She was smiling—painfully so. It killed him to know that he was the one who put that expression on her face. He was fighting the urge to just hold her much smaller body into his embrace and tell her that everything is okay; that he would return to normal in no time; that she's still the most precious person to him.

Hayami's lips quivered yet she still bravely continued.

"I want you to know that I'll always be here."

.

 _How much had he made her suffer?_

 _._

"I'll always be here to support you."

.

 _How he wanted to tell her that he was the one who didn't deserve her in his life._

 _._

"That's why…" She took a deep, shaky breath. "Keep chasing your dream and please be happy."

.

 _How he wanted to tell her that she was the best thing that had happened in his life._

 _._

"Because I love you." She didn't let a single tear fall.

.

 _How he wanted to tell her that he loved her too._

And yet he saw her walk away without asking her to stop. It crushed him to see her retreating back; small yet strong. She was the strongest girl he had ever met and he destroyed her. She was the girl he loved more than anything and yet he killed her heart.

That afternoon, Chiba let tears fall behing his bangs.

May his foolishness be washed away with his tears so that he could hopefully make up for it tomorrow.

Yes, he would fix everything the next time he saw her.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 **Alright everybody, just keep calm and don't kill me. I'll ensure you that this fanfic is going to have a happy ending so calm down.**

 **Next chapter will focus more on Chiba because we've been focusing on Hayami for like nearly all of the story. It's time to finally see things from Chiba's perspective.**

 **We have 3 chapters to go. Stay tuned!**


	5. Chapter 5: Destruction

**This chapter isn't turning out like I wanted it to be. And there are still many things left unexplained because I don't want to spam the word count lol. It's the longest chapter by far.  
**

 **Two more chapters to go woohoo!**

 **I don't have many things to say. I've been quite occupied with real life and I don't have much time to do things. I have a new passion of making covers of songs as of yesterday, though. And it's quite fun to see my friends' reactions to my voice and I might feel a bit more confident with my voice XP**

 **Anyway, have a good read!**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANSATSU KYOUSHITSU**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Destruction**

For as long as he could remember, Chiba had been a pushover.

When he was a really young boy, his classmates always found it easy to order him around or push their tasks on him. He told himself that he didn't mind. He liked helping people and felt needed.

When his classmates asked him to replace them on their cleaning duty, he gladly agreed because he had helped a person feel better. When his classmates asked pushed all the groupwork on him, he thought it was okay because it was more efficient to do it by himself anyway. When his classmates asked him to do their homework for them, he thought why not, because it helped him practice too.

Maybe because of that, everybody around him took him for granted.

Maybe because of that, he ended up in E class.

Maybe because of that, his family gave up on him.

.

"Ryuunosuke, I don't remember raising you to be such a disappointment."

His father.

.

"If you have anything to say, please tell us, Ryuunosuke. You can't expect us to understand you just by looking."

His mother.

.

"This is what you get from not trying, Ryuunosuke."

His older sister.

.

"Can you get out when my friends visit? I don't want them to see you, onii-chan."

His first younger sister.

.

"Onii-chan, why do you always disappoint everyone?"

His youngest sister.

.

Chiba's older sister by four years was a serious and strong-willed girl. Even so, she had always made their parents proud by her academic achievements and her overall capabilities. She was outspoken and true to mistakes. With her strong sense of justice and her fearless personality, she had been aiming to become a lawyer for as long as Chiba could remember.

Ever since they were children, Chiba's older sister would bluntly point out his mistakes and shortcomings. Ultimately, it contributed to his low self-esteem today.

His older sister always doubted his dreams and questioned if he could really achieve it. She would throw him hurtful statements that she called "facts" and ask him to reconsider. His dream wasn't easy to grant, but it was the only thing he never wanted to let go.

It was the only thing that kept him alive – his sanctuary.

.

.

"Can I partner up with you?" a female classmate, Hayami Rinka, asked him one day.

He was clearly flustered and to be honest, he didn't know how to respond to her request. Hayami Rinka was the best shooter in the female side albeit still losing to him. She was a quiet girl who didn't stand out much despite her beautiful face. It wasn't like he looked at her a lot, but it he could always spot her either in the group of girls or on her own. She was not the type to get along with guys.

So why did she approach him? What did she see in him?

 _Probably my shooting scores' got something to do with this,_ he thought to himself. _What is it now? Rivalry? Or maybe she wants revenge?_

He didn't know her well, but his past experience had taught him many things. First, you have to try your best but never be the best because you attract enemies by doing so. Second, people only use you as their stepping stone to reach higher. Third, never believe people who start a conversation with you no matter how trivial it might sound at first because they would eventually use you in the end.

Although no matter how experienced he was, he had a bad habit of not being able to say no.

Smiling sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his neck and said, "If you don't mind."

"Of course, Chiba-kun."

Her emerald eyes were sharp and precise; they contained no lies.

He almost believed her.

.

.

During the lesson that day, they didn't spend much time talking at all, which made Chiba question what Hayami's true motive was. The two of them only spent their time practicing just as Karasuma-sensei had instructed them to. From time to time, Hayami would compliment Chiba's high accuracy and preciseness.

"How did you shoot so well with those bangs in the way?" she asked. She was squatting next to him, with Chiba still in his shooting position. She tilted her head to the side, which was slightly cute for an expressionless girl like her.

It was a typical question. He could guess that the next question she would ask was going to be "Can you teach me how to do it?" or something along that line. And then it would escalate to "Can you do this and that for me?"

Typical, really.

But Chiba still couldn't say no. Fuck his cowardice.

"I have good eyes. On the contrary to popular belief, without my bangs I feel uncomfortable to shoot. It doesn't bother me much too," he tried to answer in the most polite yet uninformative way.

"Heee…" Hayami mumbled. She was resting her chin on her palms and was staring at him intently with her unwavering green eyes. In the short time they spent together, Chiba had grown to like those sharp green eyes.

"Your fingers are a bit tense," Hayami suddenly commented after she let Chiba shoot a few more targets.

"Really?" he asked, looking at his fingers.

She nodded before casually slipping her fingers onto his and put them back to the trigger, catching Chiba off guard and making his heart skip a beat. "Here, relax and pull. Once and twice. Loosen up," she instructed as she skillfully shot repetitive bullets to multiple targets. They didn't really hit the most center part, but they were close enough.

"You're good," Chiba found himself commenting.

"Thanks. Not as good as you, though."

Chiba only chuckled nervously.

"I'm just lucky, that's all."

Hayami didn't comment but instead tugged his sleeve and asked in a serious tone, "Aren't you going to share me any tips?"

Did she even listen to him?

After that, Chiba only told her that he happened to be good at spatial area calculation and it contributed to his shooting accuracy. He tried to explain to Hayami about how to calculate it because she insisted, but after a few times trying, she learned that not just anyone could do what Chiba did. In the end, she gave up but still continued watching Chiba in hope that she could learn something else to improve.

A bit bothered by her intent gaze, Chiba asked, "Aren't you shooting?"

Hayami shook her head. "I'm learning from you by watching."

"Does that count as slacking off?" Chiba asked, chuckling nervously.

At that, Hayami eyes slightly widened in realization. After that, she frowned as though she was thinking hard of the situation. Chiba really enjoyed how her expression were only slightly changing but somehow he could tell what she was generally thinking about. After a few seconds of silence, Hayami looked at Chiba again and smiled somewhat sheepishly as she put a finger on her lips.

"Ssstt."

Chiba could feel his heart stopped for a moment and wondered if he got too tired.

He only nodded at Hayami, agreeing to not tell anyone.

They spent the whole day giving each other advices about marksmanship and shooting. They learned that their specialty was very similar yet very different. With Chiba specializing in immobile sniping and Hayami's high kinetic vision. Their conversation ranged from shooting to their more personal problems such as their lack of assertiveness and communication skills. At the end of the day, they admitted that they were kindred souls.

"See you tomorrow, Chiba."

"Yeah. You too, Hayami."

The next day was supposed to be just another typical day full of attempts to assassinate their homeroom teacher, but at the start of that day, Hayami took the trouble to walk to his table to greet him.

"Good morning, Chiba."

He looked into her eyes behind his bangs. They were sharp and precise, like she could see through him without trying.

"Good morning, Hayami."

He didn't realize that he was smiling blissfully at her.

Hayami showed him a slightly puzzled expression but returned his smile with a much smaller one before walking back to her seat.

Maybe, just maybe, he could trust her and those eyes free of lies.

.

.

.

"Are you tired?"

"A bit."

"Today's weather's a bit harsh, after all."

"Agreed."

Hayami looked around. Sugaya and Takebayashi had already left the two of them to keep Koro-sensei occupied so that he wouldn't be suspicious about Chiba and Hayami's absence. Their classmates entrusted an important task along with a huge responsibility for them, and they were bent on meeting their expectations.

They had to snipe Koro-sensei tonight. If not, all the plan they developed and perfected during summer vacation would be as good as thrown into the gutter.

Even during the holiday, Chiba and Hayami met up and practice together to sharpen their shooting skills and accuracy. The class left the two of them on their own because they believed in the duo's skills and capability.

There was no chance of disappointment.

They _had_ to nail it.

But then again, they couldn't give their best performance if they were tired, right?

"Psst, Chiba."

Hayami called from behind the bushes where they positioned their rifles. Her hand was gesturing him to come.

"What's up, Hayami?"

"It's pretty shaded here."

Chiba realized it was much cooler where Hayami was.

There were plenty of trees because they chose a position where they could blend into the scenery or Koro-sensei would be suspiscious about the trap. Hayami was sitting under a tall tree, slightly leaning against the trunk.

Chiba faced her with a look saying, "Aren't we just slacking off?"

She noticed his gaze and quickly caught the clue. Chiba's heart almost leaped out of his chest when he saw a beautiful smile forming on his partner's face. She was slightly blushing, even. Probably because she was a bit embarrassed to have slacked off behind their other classmates despite knowing it was inevitable. She had always been serious and responsible, after all.

"Isn't it dirty down there? It's okay, you can sleep here. I won't tell anyone."

She patted her lap, much to Chiba's shock.

"…Are you sure?" he asked.

"Of course."

Chiba gulped before sitting beside her. It took all his might to throw away the embarrassment and seal it away. Slowly, he leaned in to her and rested his head on her lap. It felt comfortable. However, he couldn't deny that it was indeed embarrassing. He'd die if anyone saw them in this situation.

"I'll wake you up in half an hour." Hayami nodded dutifully.

"Aren't you tired too?" Chiba asked, just to distract himself from their position. A part of him just wanted to take back everything he said. Maybe tell her he's actually tired and said "Just kidding" or something.

"I went to bed early last night. Don't worry."

Shit.

"Alright."

Chiba tried his best to ignore the fact that he was sleeping on her lap. Before he went to sleep, Hayami showed a thin smile and said,

"Let's do our best for tonight's assassination, okay?"

He returned her smile before nodding and falling asleep. Before he knew it, being with Hayami had been one of the only things that put his heart at ease.

.

.

.

For as long as he could remember, Chiba Ryuunosuke had always been a socially awkward boy.

He was born with sharp eyes that almost always made people thought that he was glaring at them while in truth, he wasn't. His friends found it hard to approach him due to his outer appearance. And his difficulty to explain only added to the misunderstanding. It had always been hard for him to get along with anyone.

.

" _Why are you glaring at us?"_

 _._

" _You're scary."_

 _._

" _Why can't you explain?"_

 _._

" _Can you stop complaining through your eyes?"_

 _._

" _Stop glaring!"_

 _._

Even his family had long since given up on him.

But when it came to Hayami, all Chiba could ever get was surprises. There was one time when the two of them stayed late at school because Hayami asked him to teach her physics and she suddenly asked him to show his eyes. Chiba ultimately refused, but she insisted she wouldn't tell anyone. He knew she wouldn't. He couldn't trust anyone more.

But it wasn't about trust.

He didn't want her to hate his eyes or get scared of him. He'd had enough of that.

Without realizing why, he told her about his childhood and why he never wanted to show his eyes or cut his bangs. Hayami listened intently, ensuring him that she understood his feelings. When he was still in the middle of telling the story, Hayami cut him.

"Look at me, Chiba."

Chiba gulped before reluctantly turning his head to her direction. He didn't even realize when he had avoided her gaze.

She showed him a genuine smile.

"Finally. Now, go on with your story without looking away."

That's when Chiba realized that he had fallen hopelessly in love with his shooting partner. He wanted nothing but to stay by her side forever. They had only known each other for months and yet he couldn't imagine his life without her. It was as though she perfectly buried all the holes in his life and made it complete.

He had never fallen in love before and he had always thought that those romantic novels were all bogus. And now he felt like reading them all over just to understand what he was feeling.

 _Hayami… is it okay for me to love you?_

.

.

.

While waiting for Hayami who went to the restroom, Chiba sat at the park bench, took out his tablet and started sketching the dream house he had left unfinished the other day. He tried combining western style and Japanese style to create a refreshing and unique sensation to the house. It was his masterpiece.

If he could make the house reality, he would die happy.

"Hmmm… it looks nice."

Hayami's comment made Chiba jump involuntarily.

"Hayami, you're done."

Hayami nodded. "For a while now. And you're too into your task you didn't realize." Rather than getting mad, Hayami showed him a thin smile.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I like seeing your face when you're sketching."

Chiba didn't know how Hayami would say that line without feeling embarrassed at all because he could've sworn that his face heated up like crazy he had to thank his bangs for covering half of his face.

"Thank—"

"Go on with your sketch."

"What? But, the movie…"

"We still have half an hour."

"But—"

"I want to see."

Chiba couldn't express in words what he was feeling at that moment. He felt happy like never before and he just wanted to kiss her right away if only they weren't in public.

A month after they started dating and Chiba still felt like the happiest man on Earth. Hayami was the best thing he could ever ask for. She listened to his talk about his dreams that his family wouldn't even pay attention to. She smiled at him whenever he sketched a house and told him it'd be great if he could build it someday. She even looked up the things she couldn't understand about architecture so that she could understand what he said. She told him that she would stay by his side until he could make his dream reality.

Sometimes Chiba wondered if he even needed his family at all. Living with Hayami sounded more appealing.

"Oh… so this is the kitchen?"

"Yup. And I added this modern-ish counters for contrast. What do you think?"

"I think it looks great."

"If there's a house like this, would you like to live in it?" Chiba asked, expectant.

"Of course." Hayami showed him a bright smile. "But if you're living with me, it's going to be more interesting."

And that was when Chiba swore that he would make his dream reality no matter what.

.

.

.

Chiba couldn't confess his feelings toward his one and only partner before high school. He couldn't describe his feelings when Hayami told him that she felt the same. Her smile that reflected the orange sky that afternoon was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his fifteen years of life.

It almost made him forget about all his sufferings—at home, at his new school, and his internal conflicts.

 _Forget._

It reminded him on what Ritsu said that day about human memories. Ritsu had always impressed him regarding how fast she learned and some extraordinary things she could miraculously pull off in the name of science.

"…So you can manipulate memories?"

It might be greedy of him, but he wanted the real happiness.

"Yes! Like I said before, in the end, human memories are just a series of electric currents. With a few tweaks here and there, this almighty Ritsu can do virtually anything!" Ritsu chirped proudly.

Memories gave birth to certain emotions and feelings born from human reaction. If only he could forget some parts of his memories, would he be a different—better person today? He wanted to be a better person. For Hayami; his only reason to live.

He wanted to make her the happiest girl alive.

And he wouldn't be able to, at this rate.

"Then," Chiba gulped. "Can you erase some of mine?"

His hands were trembling and sweating. His mind was divided into two opposing factions in an all-out war. One part told him that what he wanted to do wasn't ethical at all, yet another part just wanted to get rid of rotten parts without considering common sense.

"But, Chiba-san?"

Chiba looked at Ritsu's somewhat apologetic smile.

"Why would you want to do that?" Ritsu's question hit a nerve.

All the painful words people around him had told him—those words that he thought had been ceased to nothingness when Hayami entered his life, turned out to be haunting him. In his new school, his lack of assertiveness combined with his undying diligence had made him the perfect target for many irresponsible students. In the end, he's still the same Chiba who was a pushover. All his hardwork and persistence were put to waste. The dream he had been dying to pursue was slipping out of his grip.

"I…"

The words were caught in his throat, not wanting to get out.

"I…"

Hayami's smile flashed in his mind and how disappointed she would be if she ever knew he wanted to do something as cowardly as erasing his own memories. But it was for her, too, that he even thought of doing it. He wanted so bad to hang in there. Because he didn't need anyone else to love him in this world.

"It's hard to be a human, Ritsu…"

"But, Koro-sensei wouldn't have wanted to see one of his beloved students in such state, would he?"

"I know." Chiba sighed. "I know, but…"

"Chiba-san…"

"It's hard, Ritsu. Life hasn't been this hard. I… I don't want to burden Hayami with my problems. Not Hayami, not anyone. Memories trigger emotions. If only I could erase some of the broken parts, I could redo everything. Isn't that right, Ritsu? Wasn't that what Koro-sensei did for you? He gave you emotions and everything was much better."

"It's true, but… Chiba-san, I'm sure Hayami-san would be more than happy if you would be willing to share your problems with her."

"I know. Hayami is kind. She's kind and helpful and selfless. And she has her own share of problems. I know she'll end up forcing herself to shoulder everything. I don't want that, Ritsu."

"But—"

"Just a few memories. Please, Ritsu."

Ritsu let out a long sigh. "I… very well. But, are you completely sure of this, Chiba-san?"

.

.

.

Chiba didn't know how their seemingly perfect relationship just descalated into something so indescribably messed up and full of pain. Whenever he imagined being in a relationship with the girl who had been his crush for the longest time, he imagined it to be going smoothly. They would stay partners until the end of their lives, he believed.

But maybe it was just wistful thinking of a young, ignorant boy.

" _Ah…_ "

Her voice made him realize what they were doing.

"… _Chiba._ "

It was wrong.

He couldn't think straight. He tried to fight whatever it was inside him that made him do this to her, but it was really hard. He didn't want to think about it. All the pain and anger that he wanted to discard so bad came back, haunting him to no end. He felt like shouting, crying and laughing at his stupid self.

Hayami had got nothing to do with it, but somehow he made her carry the burden as well.

He had no right to call himself her boyfriend.

"Chiba, stop…"

Her voice pleaded and he could feel her fingers shakily gripped his left arm. Her breathing was uneven and her face face flushed. Her bare body was covered with their mixed sweat. His lips were busy leaving marks everywhere on her body, desperately wanting to claim her as his property. He couldn't care less if anyone saw it.

He couldn't stop.

"Chiba… _ah…_ please…"

She said one more time. Instead of stopping, he leaned in to seal her lips in hope that she would stop talking as he thrusted again, now harder and more aggressive.

Her fingers gripped his arm with more power, her back arched and she accidentally bit his lips in reflex and he pulled away to break the kiss. Tears trailed down her face from pain that was probably both physical and psychological. He hated seeing her like this, but he couldn't stop.

 _I'm sorry, Hayami…_

His eyes watered. He thanked his bangs for hiding it.

By the time both of them reached climax, Hayami had covered her face with a pillow, squeezing it so hard her knuckles turned white. Her body shook before she let a soft moan escape. After that, she sobbed for a while before falling asleep.

Chiba sat beside her, gently caressing her hair and damp cheek.

"I'm sorry, Hayami…"

.

.

.

"Even if you no longer feel the same way, I want you to know that I'll always be here. I'll always be here to support you. That's why, keep chasing your dream and please be happy. Because I love you."

And that was when Chiba realized that he had taken Hayami's kindness for granted; that he had broken their relationship to the point of no return.

If only he could erase everything and start from zero again.

* * *

 **I really wished I could've done better.**

 **Anyway, that scene where Hayami said she wanted to live in the house Chiba build (with Chiba) is taken from a ChibaHaya doujin titled Eyes Only (by Aya).**

 **If you have questions, just ask them in the reviews!**

 **See you next time!**


	6. Chapter 6: Reformation

**I finished writing this chapter in a couple hours and it's like 3k words wow I'm proud of myself. After leaving it to rot for more than a year, I finally update it!  
**

 **I reread this fanfic a few hours ago and got emotional and thought "Hey, there are only two chapters left. I should man up and finish this." So here I am. To tell you the truth, I kind of like how this chapter turns out? Must be the result of intense fanfic-reading the the last few weeks lol  
**

 **There are mild hints of depression as the chapter progresses but there shouldn't be that much of a problem. Enjoy your read and have a nice day!**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANSATSU KYOUSHITSU**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Reformation**

"Hayami-chan~"

The orange-haired girl locked her phone and turned to face the person who called her name in such sickeningly sweet tone. It was her senior from the Airsoft club who loved to flirt with her for some unknown reasons.

"Shinomiya-senpai." Hayami nodded, acknowledging his presence.

"What were you seeing?"

"It's nothing."

"I kind of saw a picture of you and a guy. Your boyfriend?"

"Ex," Hayami corrected.

"Oh?" Shinomiya-senpai raised a brow and a sly smile grew on his face. "You broke up?" he sounded like he just won a lottery.

"Yesterday," Hayami nodded, pretending she didn't see his apparent happiness.

"Hmmm," the blond senior hummed and nodded.

Hayami picked up her bag and prepared to go home because there was no one else left in the clubroom. Even though she broke up with Chiba, didn't mean it's civil for her to be in the same room alone with another guy, especially this one.

When she was going towards the door, Shinomiya-senpai flashed a photo of her and Chiba in front of a love hotel, holding hands. She wasn't sure how to interpret the gesture and her wild assumptions were starting to eat her alive so she decided to ask, "What do you want?" and it came out harsher than she intended it to be.

The senior snorted almost mockingly. "Are you really asking that question? Hasn't it been clear enough that I'm interested in you for a while now?"

Hayami scowled. Of course she knew. He had been hitting on her multiple times during club that she almost felt like quitting because of him. "And?" she urged him to continue.

"Since you're _experienced_ , we should probably skip all the steps and directly go to a love hotel after this—"

Shinomiya stopped Hayami's hand when she was about to give him a good slap on the cheek.

"That's if you don't want to see your precious ex-boyfriend's future ruined."

Hayami glared at him.

"I heard he's aiming for scholarship and all."

"So, do we have a deal?"

Hayami looked downward, her right hand gripping her left arm hard that it could leave a mark. She bit her lip and thought about how Chiba's whole dream could be ruined with one photograph and she absolutely didn't want that. The Chiba who's pursuing his dream was the Chiba she loved.

.

" _I'll build a house where the two of us can live quietly together. Will you be there for me by then, Hayami?"_

.

She was glad her bangs covered her face because tears were pricking behind her eyes as she gave Shinomiya a single, reluctant nod.

She probably couldn't live with him by then, but she'd make sure she helped him build his dream house.

Yes, she would absolutely do that.

.

.

.

"Chiba…?"

Her eyes were wide and she subconsciously gripped on her arm. Why was he here?

Shinomiya-senpai and her were just stepping out of the school building when they were promptly stopped by her raven-haired ex-boyfriend who was seemed to be waiting for her at the school gate. She mentally snorted because he never even visited her at school for as long as they dated and he had to choose the day after they broke up.

"Hayami," he acknowledged her presence with an emotionless voice. Then his attention immediately shifted to the guy beside her; Shinomiya-senpai.

The older guy seemed to directly catch the hint. "Oh, me? I'm Hayami-chan's senior from the same club as well as her prospective new boyfriend." He smiled slyly.

Hayami snapped her head at him and gave a protesting glare but he acted like she wasn't there. Reluctantly, she turned to look at Chiba and didn't know if she sould be relieved or disappointed that he didn't react at all.

"Hayami," Chiba spoke up again and Hayami tried to look directly into his face, trying her best not to search for the eyes beyond those bangs. "Care to introduce us?" he asked as if Shinomiya-senpai hadn't said anything just now.

Shinomiya-senpai twisted his lips.

Hayami had to hold the urge to smile at how mean he was with the senior and how much he trusted her words more than anything else. And for a split moment, she felt like the Chiba she loved was back.

She mentally slapped her cheeks and reminded herself that she shouldn't deny Shinomiya-senpai's claim because if she did, Chiba's dream would end right there and then.

"Exactly what he told you," Hayami answered casually. At least she hoped she sounded casual.

"So," Shinomiya-senpai spoke up, throwing his arm across Hayami's shoulders, "What business does Mister Ex-Boyfriend have here?" he asked challengingly.

And, again, as if Shinomiya-senpai wasn't there, Chiba faced Hayami and said, "It's not only you who can see through my lies, you know." Hayami's heart skipped a beat. "I can see right through yours too." She could almost see his earnest eyes. "So don't lie to me, Hayami." He finished and Hayami felt a pang in her heart.

Gripping her wrist, she tried to cease her trembling as she bit her lip and looked down. Cold air blew and made it harder to stop trembling.

"Listen here, _whatever your name is_ , Hayami-chan here isn't—"

"Quiet please. Is your name Hayami?" Chiba said in the coldest tone Hayami's ever heard. She could feel Shinomiya-senpai's arm tensed on her shoulder and she was pretty sure he must have seen Chiba's soul-piercing eyes.

A lot of scenarios played in her mind. She could tell Chiba the truth and they could turn the situation around and do something about Shinomiya-senpai's blackmailing together, which was quite risky as they didn't know exactly if the sly senior had a backup and would be triggered to do something worse if they rebelled. Or she could play along with Shinomiya-senpai, turn herself into a bitch who slept with different guys, and let Chiba grant his dream. Or she could run away from the premises, go home and kill herself so she wouldn't have to deal with anything anymore.

She made up her mind and chose the last option but omitted the killing herself part because it was stupid and she was young and had a long life ahead of her.

Before she knew it, she had shook Shinomiya-senpai's arm off and dashed away as fast as her feet allowed her to. She didn't care to make up the two guys' voices into coherent sentences in her mind when she fleed. She just needed some time alone to think and go back to being rational again.

.

.

.

Hayami slammed her apartment door shut, harder than she meant to. She was lucky her mom wouldn't be home before nightfall or she would have to answer a lot of disturbing questions about why she was crying, why she looked like tomorrow was the end of the world, and why she was running like a lunatic.

She fell on her knees and pressed her fists on her ears as tears that she was holding back really hard started flowing out freely. She bit her tongue to hold back the sobs because she hated crying so much. She hadn't been crying so much since she was admitted to E Class for the first time; because that was the moment she realized she had disappointed everyone in her life who actually cared. For some reason, her happy days with Koro-sensei and E Class flashed in her head, making her long for it even more, hurting her heart.

When did everything become so hard?

She suddenly remembered the orange sky when Chiba had told her he loved her. She remembered how her heart fluttered and her world became much more colorful and how ice cream never tasted as sweet. She remembered smiling to sleep that night, thinking everything could only be better from there on, because the person she trusted the most would be there for the rest of life.

But she was wrong. She was naïve. She'd never been so wrong in her life.

She didn't realize when she'd stopped biting her tongue and was sobbing loudly, letting all the bottled up emotions loose. And that was when she heard a knock on the door behind her.

"…Hayami?" his voice made her heart stop, but her sobbing didn't. "Are you…crying?" he asked; his voice full of pain.

She actually felt better hearing his pained voice; because for a while she hadn't been able to feel any emotion in his voice.

She wanted to answer him but her sobbing couldn't stop and she'd love not sounding stupid for talking while crying.

"I'm so sorry," he said from beyond the door, choking. "I'm so sorry everything turned out like this. I don't know where it went wrong. But I just want you to know that it's not you. Everything is on me. You've done nothing wrong. If anything," he stopped to inhale because his voice had started turning shaky, "all you did was making my miserable life much better and worth living."

Hayami's sobbing subsided and she tried to quicken the progress by pressing her palms on her mouth hard and squeezed all the remaining tears out of her eyes.

"I," he gulped to rehydrate his dry throat, "I wanted to fix things, I really do. But it's really hard with the voice in my head telling me otherwise. I know I'm weak. I should've been able to fight that voice. But I lost to it, Hayami, and you were the one who had to take the toll. I'm the worst person in this whole world, I know."

She wanted to so badly to tell him he's wrong. He's not even close to the worst person in her list of acquaintance, let alone in the whole world. She wanted to tell him she understood his pain, and that she would always be there if he needed her, because she wanted to be needed by no one else. She wanted to tell him that he's just an insecure boy desperate to be loved and there's nothing wrong with it.

But her mouth betrayed her.

"I don't want to see you now. Please go home." She choked. "Please," she begged in a miserable voice she wished wasn't hers.

The whole world fell into silence for what seemed like a minute before she heard a defeated sigh and the sound of his footsteps walking away.

.

.

.

Hayami woke up in her bed. She remembered vaguely that she fell asleep at her doorstep due to both physical and mental exhaustion building up for the past few weeks. She remembered her mom opening the door and was shocked to find her there in a miserable state and started interrogating her about what happened but when she didn't want to talk about it, her mother simply told her to go to her room and get some rest she obviously needed.

She looked at the clock and it showed 01:35 am.

It wasn't a good time to wake up because how could she sleep after that.

She decided to take a warm shower and went to the kitchen to find some dinner wrapped in plastic wrapper. She microwaved it and had a meal to warm her stomach while she checked her phone to relax herself. Maybe find some memes, read some interesting yet insignificant facts online and then try to sleep again.

She saw notifs on the E Class group chat. The group was always lively, and reading their chats always put a smile on her face. She missed the class and kept wondering when they would have a class reunion. It's silly, really. It's only been barely a year since they graduated middle school and she already missed them so much.

Chiba didn't appear in the group chat at all.

Not like he usually appeared a lot. Both Chiba and her preferred to be silent readers and only talk when necessary and the class understood their habit.

It was 2 am when she finished eating and reading the whole 874 chat of E Class group.

She went to wash the dishes and returned to her phone again to check individual messages. And that's when her blood ran cold.

For once in her life she wished she checked individual messages first before group chats.

Oh my god. No. No, this can't be happening.

.

 _Thank you for everything. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. When other people crush my hopes and dreams, you were there to pick up the pieces and pick me up. When other people tell me I'm not good enough, you make me feel like the best. When other people look down on me, you smile at me._

 _I honestly don't deserve you. You know that, right?:)_

 _You'll always be my one and only love. If you can give me the chance, let's meet again in the next life. I promise I'll do better next time._

 _._

Hayami found herself snatching her coat and unlocked her apartment door like she never unlocked a door before. Her hands were trembling and tears were prickling behind her eyes. She ignored her panicked mother who came rushing from her bedroom to see what's going on and sprinted like there's no tomorrow.

.

 _There are many things I haven't told you. Have I ever told you how pretty you look when you're angry? I never had the chance to say it before but I had to tell you at least once._

 _Also, do you know how much of a movie I actually watch when I'm watching it with you? I actually spend half of the movie looking at you. Never once in my life I love my bangs so much :D_

 _._

Of course she knew. She spent the other half of the movie watching him.

.

 _Say, in our next life, do you want to be human again? It's so hard being one. Expectations and pressure kill us alive. I personally want to be reborn as something else. A tree, perhaps? Even better if you're also a tree that's next to me. We can be together for the rest of our lives, only worrying about how much water and sunlight we need._

 _._

The message was sent an hour ago and for the love of God, she didn't know if he was still in his room contemplating or was already making up his mind an hour ago and that would mean she was so very late. Her heart hammered against her chest as she thought of the worst. But she prayed hard into the fact that Chiba's family hadn't contact her to deliver the news if her worst assumption was correct.

She might not have met them very often but Chiba's family, especially his younger sisters, were very fond of her and they sometimes sent embarrassing pictures of Chiba to add into her collection. If anything had happened, the girls would definitely contact her or at least send her a message about it.

.

 _Jokes aside, I just want to say I love you and I'm very lucky to have met you. I've had a crush on you for the longest time before I admitted to myself that I've fallen hopelessly in love with you. Even though my love has been mostly painful for you, I'm really glad you stick with me and never let go. How did I get this lucky? Among many guys in this world who deserve you, I got to have you for myself. Have I ever told you Okajima always had a crush on you and I was always jealous when he approached you? Good old days._

 _._

Hayami had never been so happy Chiba's house was just around the neighborhood or she'd have an anxiety attack on the way to his house with her head throwing ugly assumptions one after another.

When she arrived in front of his house, she pressed the doorbell with trembling hands and prayed again that she was only overthinking like usual.

.

 _Would you look at the time!_

 _I'm sorry if I ruin your day when you read this in the morning. But I promise it'll be the last time I hurt and disappoint you._

 _Remember, none of this is your fault. It never was._

 _Goodbye. See you again._

 _Maybe next time we'll get to build that dream home together._

 _-Chiba Ryuunosuke_

.

Hayami felt like crying again when nobody answered the door for one full minute. She knew it was not a reasonable hour to be ringing someone's doorbell but she really wished they could open the door just to tell her she'd been pranked.

She had been panicking and she had only realized now that Chiba's house was too dark even though it's supposedly time to sleep. None of the lights were on.

Then it struck her.

It's been quite long since she'd come to his house. Also quite long since the girls had sent her embarrassing pictures of him. Because of all the stress, she never really noticed how long it had been. She turned on the flashlight from her phone and got a heart attack when she saw the unattended front yard that looked like it had been abandoned for at least a month. Leaves were wrinkling and vines going out of control.

She shook her head in disbelief and horror before she force-opened the gate. The only thing stopping her from doing that before was her conscience trying to be civil in somebody else's home. But if her assumption was correct, it would mean that nobody else was in the house except Chiba.

She wanted to open the front door but it was fingerprint-locked. Chiba's family was quite wealthy because of his parents' stable jobs and his sister being a lawyer so his house had the latest technology scattered all over and she used to admire it but now she wanted nothing but to smash everything getting in her way to Chiba's room.

Her mind tried to think of a way. What about sneaking in from the backdoor? No, it's fingerprint-locked too. Even the windows were guarded. Seriously, why did his house have to be so fully-equipped? The crime rate wasn't even that high in the neighborhood.

Just as she started to panic again, her phone rang. She wished it was Chiba but it wasn't.

"Hayami-san, I might be able to be of help!"

Ritsu's voice never sounded so reassuring in her whole life of knowing the AI. Help is what she needed. Exactly. She didn't even bother asking why Ritsu suddenly appeared in her phone and if she knew something about Chiba. The only thing she needed to do now was to get to Chiba as soon as possible before he did anything stupid; which probably already happened.

In what seemed like seconds, Ritsu managed to unlock the door. Hayami skipped thanking her to rush upstairs where Chiba's room was.

The whole house was dark and void of light but she still remembered how the interior structure was so she managed to guess where the light switches were and switched on as many lights as she could.

She ran to the the end of the second floor hall, where Chiba's room was, and her heart dropped when she opened the door.

"No…" she breathed in horror.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 **Uh-oh, it turned a little bit too dark. But it's ok, everything will be solved in the next chapter!**

 **Stay tuned! I can't promise when I'll update but I'll try to make it soon :D**

 **See you next time!**


	7. Chapter 7: Culmination

**Finished this chapter in a few hours too. It's the longest chapter by far with 4,920 words minus the author note wow!**

 **To be honest, I feel like drawing some ChibaHaya fanarts again after scrolling through my old ChibaHaya folder and writing this fanfic. Yes, I draw. I have an art account on instagram. Feel free to follow _yukifrill_ on instagram if you want to see my art. I'm so much more active there too /winks**

 **Anyway, despite the length of this chapter, I wasn't able to wrap up the whole thing. So, for the better or the worse, I still have one more chapter on the way.**

 **Enjoy your read!**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANSATSU KYOUSHITSU**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Culmination**

Hayami clasped her hands desperately. She didn't believe in God, but she wanted to pray to whatever being that could grant her wish that Chiba would be alright.

The smell of hospital usually made her feel calm but now she wanted to throw up.

Ritsu had been trying to calm her down for the past thirty minutes since they arrived to the hospital. It had been fifty minutes since they found Chiba lying unconscious on his bed with a bottle of sleeping pills in his hand; the rest of the pills scattering on the floor. She remembered the horror in her eyes when she approached him and slapped his cheeks to wake him up. She remember how relief washed over her when he mumbled incoherent sentences and she brought him to the restroom, trying to ignore how limp his body felt, to help him spit out the pills that were still stuck in his throat. She didn't know how many of them he managed to swallow but she was glad to see quite a few of them flushed down the toilet.

She was going to call his family when he limply put a hand on hers and weakly shook his head. She dialed 911 instead.

"Why would he do that?" she found herself mumble.

"Life hasn't been very kind with Chiba-san for the past few months," Ritsu took the initiative to explain, "Out of everyone in E Class, I keep in touch with Chiba-san the most because he keeps seeking for me. He has been very lonely," she said sadly.

Hayami opened her mouth to say something but stopped. She really couldn't judge him. She knew his family situation and his severe inferiority complex.

"I was very happy when the two of you finally started going out. It was when Chiba-san actually felt happy, although it didn't last very long. Don't feel discouraged, Hayami-san. Like Chiba-san told you, none of this is your fault. If anything, you've softened the blow for him," Ritsu reassured and smiled.

"No," Hayami said.

"Sorry?"

"No." She shook her head weakly. "You don't have to lie to me. I know it's all because of me. I should've pressed him to tell me instead of letting him give in to his inner demon. I made him worse. If we never started dating, he wouldn't have thought about using me to his advantage and feel bad about himself afterwards. I know him well enough to tell that his guilt towards me is worsening him. If we never started dating, none of this would happen and I wouldn't be the one who sent him away when he needed me the most." Her lips quivered and she inhaled as she remembered the moment she told Chiba she didn't want to see him anymore. "If only I could redo everything," she choked.

Ritsu looked at her ex-classmate with pain in her face as she held her hands near her chest.

"Chiba-san said the same thing."

"What thing?"

"About wanting to redo everything. He believes that there's something wrong with him, fundamentally. So he told me to erase some memories for him—"

"Wait," Hayami's eyes widened. "Erase some memories? You could do that?" she asked and then she was reminded about that day after the movie when Ritsu told them the very same thing and it answered her own question.

"Well, yes." She sounded sheepish. "He actually told me not to tell anyone, but I think it's best for you to know."

Hayami felt her heart broke for god knows how many times today. She thought she understood him and knew the extent of his pain but turned out she didn't. She couldn't even begin to comprehend the bottomless pit that was his anxiety and sense of inferiority of not ever being good enough that he wanted to erase his memories.

"Ritsu…"

"Yes?"

"You've been with Chiba all this time, haven't you? So you must know a lot about what's going on in his head."

"I suppose so."

"Can you confirm one thing for me?"

"I don't understand where this is going but, yes."

Hayami inhaled deeply. "Did he get worse after we started dating? He did, didn't he? Before that, he thought he could carry all the burden himself. And then I came along and he felt like he could finally share the burden. But at the end of the day, the guilt struck him like never before and he began hating himself more."

Ritsu fell into silence.

"It's right, isn't it?" Hayami asked, demanding an answer.

Ritsu let out a sigh, like she just gave up trying to look for a better way to put it. "Actually… yes. He hadn't been that bad before you started dating. I think his love for you gave birth to an entire level of needing to be better. Also the fact that your love to him is so genuine; he found himself craving for more but hated himself after that. Added with social pressure from around him…" she trailed off.

Hayami nodded, relieved that her assumption was confirmed more than anything.

Not long after that, the doctor came up to her and told her that Chiba's condition had stabilized and that she did a good job letting him spill out the pills or it would've been much worse. After making sure Chiba was alright, Hayami went to the receptionist to pay for the hospital fee using Chiba's credit card. She felt bad for using his credit card without asking but she didn't even bring her own wallet and if he didn't want her to call his family, then this was the only way.

On the way back to Chiba's room, she remembered that she hadn't texted her mom to tell her she wasn't kidnapped or killed for sprinting outside at 1 am.

Then she let Ritsu appear on her phone screen again.

"Ritsu, I need your help on something."

"Yes, Hayami-san?"

.

.

.

Chiba woke up in his room and his eyes traveled around. It was neater than usual.

He looked at his phone but its battery already died. When was the last time he charged it? He was pretty sure it still had a lot of battery the night before. He plugged in the charger and his eyes bolted open when he saw the date. It was two days after the last date he remembered. Whew, where did the memories go?

There was a mountain of messages, especially the E Class group chat. The other messages were full of his classmates and teachers asking where he was and why he skipped classes. Oh my God. How did he sleep in for two days, he wouldn't even know.

He looked at the clock and saw that there was still enough time to make it to school today so he rushed to prepare himself and went to school. On his way, he checked his schedule and saw that he would be free in the afternoon so he decided to ask Hayami if she wanted to go for their usual shooting date.

He raised a brow when he saw the whole chat history with Hayami had been cleared, but didn't mind much because they hadn't really talked that much since high school started anyway.

.

.

.

"It's really too bad that you broke up with your cute boyfriend, though. Did you get into a fight? Is it another girl?"

"Yui-chan!" Yanagi squeaked.

Hayami only gave them a thin smile and shook her head.

"It's just… he'd be better without me, that's all."

"Aw shucks. You two look so good together, you know?" Nishino crossed her arms and huffed. Yui nodded in agreement beside her.

"Really?" Hayami asked, just for formality, as she played with her pigtail and wondered how Chiba was doing. She hoped he felt better and that they never crossed paths again because she would like to think she wasn't the one who snatched his dream from him.

She felt a smile grace her face when she imagined him going to school and doing his best to reach his dream.

She didn't have to be there with him when his dream came true, but she wanted to believe she had contributed in granting it, even though it involved getting out of his life.

Nishino and Yanagi were going to talk about the drama they watched the day before when Hayami received a message from Chiba. It gave her a shock even though she knew he wouldn't remember anything about their relationship.

"Hayami, are you free this afternoon?"

It was the same text message as the first one he sent her when they started high school.

"Rinka-chan, are you crying?" Yanagi asked in grave worry.

"What, is your ex bullying you?" Nishino sounded pissed as she got up from her seat.

Hayami shook her head and wiped her tears with her sleeve before saying, "It's nothing, just an old friend sending a nostalgic message. I must've missed middle school very much." She gave them a reassuring smile.

"Oh, what the hell! You scared us!" Nishino laughed, followed by Yanagi who sighed in relief.

Hayami nodded before replying him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but I joined a club. I don't think I'll have that much free time anymore. I heard your curriculum is very hard even for a first year. You should focus on your studies for now. Good luck. Let's meet again when we're older."

Not even one minute after she pressed the send button, a reply came.

"Or during summer. But I get what you mean. My school projects can be very demanding. Thanks for being understanding, Hayami. I agree. Let's meet again when we're both halfway through our dreams. We're going to have many things to talk about, unlike now."

Hayami closed her eyes and smiled. That's right. This was how it's supposed to be.

"Roger that," she replied.

.

.

.

Hayami spent three years in high school distracting herself with school and club and new friends to bury all the trauma from the few months of her first year deep beneath her. The reason why she didn't ask Ritsu to erase her memory too? Well, it's because someone had to carry that burden.

No, that's just sugarcoating. In all honesty, she simply didn't want to forget those memories because they were precious to her. They hurt her, yes. They left scars that wouldn't heal, yes. But still, she wanted to remember the times where she had slowly gotten to know Chiba and his dreams. How they used to have peaceful afternoons together just fantasizing about the future. Or even those silent moments when they were simply together, doing separate things while enjoying each other's company.

In all selfishness, she just wanted at least one of them to remember those wonderful moments happened.

After graduating high school, the E Class held a class reunion at their old school building. She had met Chiba there, but they didn't talk much because she was busy with the girls and he was busy with the guys. She had overheard bits of his conversation with the guys about him graduating with the highest score in his class and was getting a great deal of college recommendations. She was happy for him. And when they got some time alone, she went to congratulate him, to which he replied with a sheepish smile and a thank you.

He had asked her if she wanted to grab some food after the reunion, just the two of them, because they could barely talk when the others were around. But she politely refused him in her newfound sarcasm technique, saying that unlike him, she had some college-hunting to do.

He chuckled in amusement at her sarcasm and told her good luck.

.

.

.

Chiba choked on thin air when he saw the pigtailed maid who delivered the coffee to his table. He wouldn't mistake that ginger hair and green eyes for anyone else.

"Hayami?!" he asked in disbelief, a little louder than he intended to.

"Oh wow, what brings you here?" she asked casually, bringing up the tray beside her head. He really couldn't get his eyes off her cute, long pigtails.

"Wh—I mean—is that really the important question in this situation?" he spluttered.

Hayami narrowed her green eyes and tapped her chin with her finger multiple times, seemingly thinking. "Oh," she pointed her index finger at him, "Are you wondering why I work here?" she asked.

"Duh?" Chiba blurted, opening his palms at her.

"It's close to my university and the pay is nice. I also need firsthand experience at handling different people so this is just the perfect job. Bonus point; the uniform isn't half bad," she ended with a little twirl to make her knee-length skirt flutter.

Chiba gulped at how cute that gesture was but said nothing.

"Wow, you changed a lot. Especially the way you, uh, talk," he pointed out, nodding at himself.

"That's supposed to be the point of my major. I'll take that as a compliment," she said, slightly smirking. Chiba almost fell off his chair at that. "How are things going at your side?" she asked, before looking at the register where her boss glared at her and said, "Uh-oh, not a good time for this. I gotta work first. Catch you later?" She waved the tray lightly.

"Wait, Hayami!"

She turned around to see him looking a bit nervous before he said, "I'll wait here until your shift ends. I just finished a project so I'm relatively free for the week. I want to catch up with you too, uh, so…" he trailed off. "Sound good?"

She looked at him with an unreadable expression and he braced himself for another rejection because it seemed like she kept rejecting him every time he invited her out.

"Sure. My shift ends in an hour, if you're okay with it."

"I don't see any problem with it."

"Cool," she said with a small smile before going to another table to take order. Chiba's heart fluttered but he blamed it on the sleepless nights doing projects.

.

.

.

"Waited long?" she asked when she approached his table again an hour later, with casual clothes and her hair let loose. Her ginger hair now fell to her mid-back with curls at the end. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful for some reason but Chiba didn't want to dwell on it.

"Not at all. I had the time of my life making sure to sip just a little bit of my coffee at a time so it could stay there for an hour." He gestured his hand at the empty cup.

She exploded into giggles that melted his heart. "You learned the sarcasm fast," she said, somewhat proud.

"I did learn from the best," he said playfully and she nudged him lightly in the arm.

"Alright. Shall we get going, then?" she asked, looking at her watch. "I have to go home before it gets dark, though, my friend promised to come to my apartment to do group project together at six."

"Are you living alone?"

"Yeah, because my mom's apartment is kind of far from my university so to save train money, I decided to get an apartment for myself. It's a nice way to start being independent, too. How about you? Are you still living with your family?" Hayami winced at herself that she had to pretend not knowing his family situation.

He shook his head. "I moved out during my senior year in high school." Before Hayami could say anything, Chiba cut her, "Oh, hey, since you have to go home in an hour anyway, let's just hang out here. I'll ask them to get the menu so we can order. My treat." He raised a hand to call for a waiter.

"Oh, what a gentleman," she said playfully, leaning against the table.

"I think I sort of prefer the old Hayami."

Hayami pretended to be disgusted. "Meh, what's so good about her?"

"She's not sarcastic, that's for one."

"I feel betrayed. I thought you liked sarcasm. You even used it just now."

"Oh, did I give the wrong idea?" He was overjoyed at how easy it was to talk to her and even though it was a little different than how they used to talk in middle school, he still enjoyed talking to the girl that was Hayami Rinka.

At that moment, the waiter came and Chiba told him his order before gesturing to Hayami who sat across him.

To get her revenge, Hayami said, "Give me the most expensive main course, the most expensive dessert, and the most expensive coffee in this restaurant," she said with a flick of fingers like she owned the place. Then turned to the waiter, who seemed to be her senior, and whispered as she leaned into him, "Of which the numbers I already memorized, of course. It's MC034, D022 and C013."

The waiter, her senior, chuckled at her sneaky way to show competence at work and shook his head before leaving the table.

"Are you trying to rob me?" Chiba asked, worried for his wallet.

"Don't worry, this place is price-friendly. It won't kill you."

"Let's hope you're telling the truth."

And they spent the whole afternoon talking about their high school and university days; the friends they made in each other's absence, and how much they both missed shooting. Then it proceeded to how well they were doing in the journey to reach their dreams. Chiba admitted that he was doing well with individual projects but group projects always gave him trouble because of his lack of communication skills. Hayami taught him a few tips on how to deal with annoying and manipulative people; and especially people who loved to slip out of group project and let others do the job for them. It made Chiba realize how much the quiet girl he knew had grown from the last time they'd met.

It was almost six when they noticed the time again.

"Oh no, I need to go now." Hayami looked at her watch and shot up immediately, picking up her bag from the chair.

"Sure. I'll pay the bills after you leave."

She nodded and thanked him for the treat. "Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday," she told him over her shoulder when she was ready to leave.

"Huh?" Chiba raised a brow, although he knew she couldn't see it.

"My shift." She gave him a knowing smirk before leaving.

He blushed under his bangs and swore to himself he'd never forget those three days.

.

.

.

Although Hayami didn't want to let herself into his life again, she found herself overjoyed whenever he visited the café during her shift. Of course, he didn't visit her three times a week, but whenever he did, she found herself in good mood all day.

Sometimes he simply came for a cup of coffee while he worked on his projects or papers. Sometimes he'd buy her lunch and asked her to sit with him. Sometimes, very rarely, they'd go for a shooting date after her shift.

Her favorite was when he started talking about his dream and how close he was to granting it.

"My life would be complete if I could live in a house I designed." He said with an earnest smile and she nodded quietly, letting him talk as much as he wanted.

"What's your dream, Hayami?" he asked.

She raised her brows quizzically. Her dream, huh? She wanted to be a journalist, there's that. But to say it was her dream would be a bit weird considering she already started amateur journalism work during her free time. Maybe her dream was to become a professional journalist? Well, to be honest she didn't _have_ to be a journalist. She only wanted a job where she could see different types of people and still earn enough money for a living.

"I really don't know," she found herself answering.

She could almost feel him frown. "But that's sad," he said, sounding a little hurt.

She thought about countering it with sarcasm but scratched the idea. Well actually, if it's about what she wanted to happen the most, she would say that she wanted to see him grant his dream. But then again, he'd definitely get the wrong idea because it would sound too romantic and she didn't want to throw hints at him when she didn't even want to date him. "I'll find it along the way," she said confidently and he lit up like Christmas lights, "I'll tell you when I do."

He nodded happily. "It's a promise."

"Right," she smiled.

.

.

.

Chiba and Hayami hung out from time to time during their college years but Hayami made sure not to get too close to him and tried to keep their relationship platonic. She'd act cold to him if it was necessary so that he wouldn't get dependent on her. She wouldn't mess up again this time.

They attended each other's graduation along with some other E Class friends who could make it. It was nice to have small reunion with their favorite class too.

But a problem arose when they were doing job-hunting.

"They told me to cut my bangs because it's unprofessional. And let's face it, it creeps people out."

"Surely, it can't be that bad."

"I got rejected by ten different companies for the same reason."

Hayami fell into silence for a few moments before saying, "Oh" and sipped her coffee.

Chiba let out a long sigh and slammed his head onto the table, staying like that for a while. Hayami looked at him with a mixed expression of worry and pity. She tried to think of a solution for him and what came into her mind was:

"How about styling your hair?"

His head shot up although his whole body was still slumped. "Like how?" he asked, hopeful.

Her hand reach for his head to tweak his hair, feeling him shudder beneath her touch but she ignored it. "I don't know," she said while tugging his hair behind his ears and stopped breathing when she saw his eyes looking at her in puzzlement. She quickly extracted her hand and said in the calmest voice she could muster, "Something like that?"

She opened her compact mirror and showed it to him to let him see.

"Really?" he said flatly. "I'd rather cut my bangs. I look like a clown, Hayami."

"No, you don't. Not enough make up."

"Hayami!"

She stuck her tongue out and giggled softly.

Hayami went to get some hair gel from a co-worker and worked her magic with Chiba's hair, styling it in every hairstyle she could come up with. She tried Harajuku style, Korean boyband style, metal punk rock style (just because Chiba was a fan of metal songs and he kept giving her hints to try it out), and even an afro. Sometimes she just tried to make funny hairstyle for some laughs.

At the end of the day, they came to a conclusion.

"No offense, but you look like someone else in anything but your current hairstyle."

"Thanks for saying that out loud," he said sheepishly.

The two of them sighed, not knowing how to come up with a solution. If Chiba wanted to be accepted, he had to give up something that made him himself. It was his dream right before his eyes and he knew he needed to make the sacrifice if he wanted to grab it. He didn't know what made him hesitate. It was just a bunch of hair.

"Alright, you know what," Hayami said, standing up and sliding out of the seat before grabbing his arm, "I have an idea. Follow me."

They went to a bookstore nearby. Chiba followed suit as Hayami walked around wordlessly, browsing books in the business section, checking out the covers and summary at the back. The process went on for nearly half an hour as she sometimes returned to see the book she already saw. After contemplating for a while, she decided on a book and shoved into Chiba's chest.

"Drill this into your mind. It's what you need to overcome this crisis. It's not as thick and detailed as Koro-sensei's manuals but it'd work."

"Wha…" he trailed off as he took a closer look at the book. It's a book on how to start up a business.

"Let's get going fast. We want to stop being unemployed as soon as possible, don't we?"

"We?"

"You just focus on sharpening your first blade." She pointed at the book. "You've always been good at observing the world from behind your bangs anyway." He had to keep himself from snorting at how ridiculous it sounded.

"I'll be your second blade," she said with so much confidence that he felt his heart throb.

True to her words, Hayami kept her promise and helped him overcome his weaknesses. They'd hang out together at his apartment, sometimes hers, to discuss the book and plan out the blueprint of their upcoming business. Hayami still held onto her part-time job until she was sure they'd prepared enough to start the business because she still needed to earn money to go by. Chiba also did some freelance designing job to earn money in-between their meetings.

It took eight months for them to finally gather enough support and knowledge to start a business of their own.

Chiba was nervous when they submitted the proposal of their business, especially when they made his name the company name. He felt like he didn't deserve to hog all the glory because without Hayami, where would he be today? But she squeezed his hand and reassured that he deserved everything.

It took a month after submitting the proposal before their business finally started, but within that one month, they had attended seminars related to their field of work and with Hayami's help, they managed to make connections with wealthy people who were interested to invest on new business. Sometimes they were even lucky enough to find seniors who offered to recommend their clients to them after seeing Chiba's work sample, added with Hayami's smooth talk.

They had their first job as soon as their business opened.

As they progressed, Chiba felt the confidence surging in him like never before. Not even when he was offered scholarship did he feel this confident. Not even when a bunch of art colleges practically begged for him did he feel this overjoyed. He was one step before his dream. He felt lucky he had lived to this day.

He felt lucky to have the best partner he could ever ask for.

Sometimes he felt like he robbed her dream from her and it twisted his stomach to think about it, but she never failed to reassure him that this was what she wanted to do.

She deserved so much better, really. She was talented, dedicated, and diligent; added with her looks that left nothing to be desired. She could've easily landed a job anywhere she wanted. But here she was, sticking with good old him.

Everything went really well with her by his side that he felt like he was still trapped in a dream one year after their business started. They did some small jobs like bedrooms, living rooms, sometimes even bathrooms. But they received a big project of building a fancy home two months into their grand opening. They faced a few bumps in the road, but it only made the success felt better.

It all went well, until that very night they finished their biggest project. Their client, Kawasaki-san, was very pleased with the result and he even promised he'd recommend their service to his wealthy friends. What better news would they need?

Chiba wanted to badly to bring Hayami to a French restaurant to celebrate but it was 1 am and the only place open was the bar they frequented. She promised to let him bring her to the French restaurant in the weekend, though.

But then everything plummeted when the old man who owned the bar started questioning their status. It was nothing new, really, he did that all the time. Honestly, it's not only him. A lot of clients assumed that they're married couple running a family business and they only shrugged it off casually. It never bothered them that much because even back in middle school, a lot of people assumed.

But it seemed different that night when Hayami sprinted off after the bar owner asked if they'd never dated before.

And then he found himself standing in front of her apartment door, listening to her sobs without being able to do anything. The strongest woman he knew was just beyond the door, breaking down. And the situation painfully reminded him of something very similar that happened before.

Beautiful and ugly memories started flooding his mind and he was petrified, not knowing how to react to the bombardment. He clutched his head and groaned, trying to make it stop only to no avail. He felt the urge to throw up at the ugly and rotten feelings the memories brought up.

Tears formed on the corner of his eyes.

He felt so ugly and disgusting that he just felt like scratching himself until he bled.

.

How the hell had he been shamelessly living in oblivion after everything he'd done?

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

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